The enemy of my enemy
by AzzyDarling
Summary: When all is said and done, Jake stays in Edonia to help where he finds he is needed, and had never in a million years expected someone like Chris Redfield to come back there, even if he is under orders from B.S.A.A. And never in a million years had Jake thought he would fall in love, not with him, not with Chris. M/M
1. Chapter 1

Betaed by EJ

AN: ARgh, I can't believe I made a retarded typo like this, sorry to you who caught it, I fixed it - hides in shame.

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_I've seen and done things I want to forget;__  
__I've seen a corporal whose nerves were shot__  
__Climbing behind the fierce, gone sun,__  
__I've seen flies swarming everyone,__  
__Soldiers fell like lumps of meat.__  
__These are the words, the words are these._

_What if I take my problem to the United Nations?__  
__What if I take my what if I take my problem to the United Nations?_

_PJ Harvey-_

Cheap hotels and Jake, it was a love-hate thing. They made him feel anonymous, safe and out of sight. But in the long run they made him feel just as empty and impersonal as the rooms. He didn't have to hide or run, Sherry had told him over and over, that his file was classified. But Jake knew it was only a matter of time before the next crazy fucker in line somehow 'found' his file, so he thought it better to lay low. Besides if he had to be honest with himself then the whole 'save the world' gig was just not his thing, he wasn't a hero, he was just Jake.

The shower head spluttered and luke warm water oozed out, Jake closed his eyes and stepped into the slow steady flow of water. He heard a little click of his front door opening, and he instantly tensed. Could it be housecleaning? No, not this late. Jake stepped out of the spray of water, and wrapped a towel around his waist. Cursing to himself that he had let his guard down so much so he had left his weapons in the bedroom. He looked around, careful not to slip on the slick wet floor where he stood, but not even a decent makeshift weapon was to be had. Jake took a deep breath and silently made for the door to the bedroom, it was already ajar and he pushed it open more just slightly, praying that it wouldn't screech on its hinges. Surprisingly it didn't, and he could see a figure standing by the window looking out over the street. Was that military attire? Why would the military be here? And more importantly, 'what' military? He eyed the guns on the bed, and calculated his chances to make a wild dash for them, and get a shot off before the mysterious intruder made a move.

"Mr. Muller." The man with his back to Jake said.

Jake frowned, he knew that voice. "Wrong room, mister." He said in perfect Slavic.

Chris finally turned around and looked at Jake with a little smile, "Finally got the jump on you, huh?"

"You." Jake sighed, clutching his towel to stay on his bony hips. "What do you want?"

"Just talk." Chris said.

Jake narrowed his eyes, not believing it one bit. "We have nothing to talk about." He nodded to the door out to the hotel corridor, "You can leave the way you came in."

Chris shrugged, he had expected this. "You still for hire?"

"For you? No." Jake said, "Now fuck off." He waved at the door with an arrogant dismissive gesture.

"Name your price." Chris said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Which part of fuck off was it you didn't hear?" Jake growled, angry at himself for being caught in a vulnerable situation like this. He would have felt much more on top of the situation if he had just been wearing pants.

"Alright." Chris nodded, "I'll tell Sherry I tried." He turned his back to Jake and started to walk towards the door. And when Jake took a step and said "Wait." Chris' smile widened.

"Wait, Sherry set you up to this?" Jake said his voice soft and oddly betrayed. "Redfield, answer me."

"She told me you were back home." Chris said turning around to look directly at Jake again. "I wasn't crazy about coming here either."

"So she told you I was back in Edonia, well that doesn't exactly answer my question." Jake said leaning up against the door frame with as much dignity as he could without losing his towel.

"She did." Chris said, "And honestly a mysterious benefactor known only as 'M', well... you weren't too hard to track down, American dollars go far in this country." He smirked at Jake's annoyed expression. "So name your price Muller."

Jake eyed Chris, entertaining the idea of naming a price. "Depends on the job." He said stiffly, he was getting sort of curious now, there had to be more to it if Sherry had set the ever-fantastic Chris Redfield on his trail.

"Your time." Chris said, "As long as it takes for me to tell you what Sherry told me to tell you. And then I will be gone from your life. Pretty sweet deal, right?"

"Maybe." Jake said and chewed his lip thinking. "Alright, a thousand American dollars an hour. Can you afford that boy scout?"

"If it were up to me I wouldn't even be here." Chris admitted, but nodded, "Deal."

"First hour is up front, and I want lunch too." Jake said pushing off the door frame and walked over to his clothes.

"Alright." Christ just said again, Turning around as Jake stared at him with pants in his hand. "You know anywhere where the food isn't green slop?"

"Yes." Jake said as he zipped his pants, already feeling better. "There is a diner close to here where they serve decent food." He reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head in a swift move. "And when we're out, you call me Mr. Muller." Jake said, pulling his boots on.

"Alright." Chris nodded.

"Great," Jake sing-song as he holstered his guns, "Let's go." He brushed past Chris on his way out of the door, smiling amused as Chris shambled to follow.

Sitting at a table at the half empty diner, Jake warmed his fingers on the hot cup of coffee. "So talk," He said softly.

"Okay," Chris took a deep breath, and looked down at his own cup of coffee. Funny how it was much easier to speak your mind when it involved guns, adrenaline and hard words. Less personal, and still pregnant with power. "Wesker, he-"

"I read the file." Jake said with a bored expression, looking up at the clock over the diner counter.

"Okay that's good." Chris said, nodding. He had no idea how the hell what he should even say, he had been so convinced that Jake would not agree to this meeting, so he had never really made a plan. "I told you I killed him, and I did. But if you read the file you know that I did the world a favor."

Jake just nodded, just sitting in silence waiting for Chris to speak, but when he didn't Jake looked up at the clock again. "Are we done?" He asked casually.

"I suppose so." Chris said with a shrug.

"Well this was... pointless." Jake sneered, downing his coffee and moved to stand.

"Hey," Chris said, grabbing Jake's wrist. "What I meant to say is that I'm sorry he was your dad, but I'm not sorry I shot him."

"Alright." Jake said, his lips a fine line of anger while he stared intensely at his wrist that Chris had captured. And when he didn't let go, Jake looked directly at Chris. "What do you want from me? I never knew the asshole."

"Nothing." Chris said with a frown, "But Sherry worries."

"Oh she does, does she?" Jake laughed mirthlessly. "I'm sorry soldier boy, but I am not Sherry's goddamn charity case."

Chris studied Jake for a moment, and really he looked mostly like a furious cat caught in a string. Too proud to ask for help and too pissed off to not just struggle and get more tangled. Sherry was worried that Jake was lonely; apparently she saw something in this guy that no one else did. But then again she was right when she had pointed out that the only reason that Chris didn't trust or like him, was because of who his dad was. And Jake was not Wesker, that much was clear. As he said himself, he hadn't even known who his dad was until Ada had felt like telling him a year ago. And Chris could hardly just come out and tell him what Sherry had actually worried about. "This is not a charity call." Chris finally said. "I happened to be here, and decided to indulge Sherry and look you up."

"What are you doing in Edonia?" Jake asked narrowing his eyes, not sure if he should believe it nor not.

"B.S.A.A business." Chris just said, finally letting go of Jake's wrist.

"Go figure." Jake sighed, "Well your hour is up, and you can call Sherry and tell her I am fine."

"You could do that yourself." Chris stated, leaning back in his chair.

"I'm busy." Jake just stated.

"She cares about you, you know that right?" Chris said with a soft laugh, as if he didn't really understand or believe it himself. All he saw when he looked at Jake was those unnaturally steel blue eyes, Albert Wesker's eyes.

"I know." Jake sighed, his expression softening along with his voice. "She shouldn't."

"Sherry's a pretty headstrong girl." Chris shrugged, "I am not about to tell her what she should or shouldn't do."

"And still, here you are buying me coffee." Jake couldn't resist a little amused huff. "I am going to ask you one last time, what is this about?"

"Alright." Chris sighed, "You didn't pick up your phone, or answer any of her text messages or emails, so she worried. She called me when she found out that I was going back to Edonia, and asked me to look you up."

"And you said it wasn't a charity call." Jake smiled but was anything but amused.

"She was worried that you'd have to go underground again." Chris shrugged, "So are you gonna give me something to tell her?"

"I am busy, work stuff." Jake shrugged too, "And she shouldn't worry about me, I'm fine."

"Really?" Chris asked and leaned a little in over the table, "I know you didn't talk to the B.S.A.A department for mental health, like you were told to."

Jake frowned, "Your hour is up, soldier boy."

"I'll pay for one more." Chris gloated, "And another cup of coffee."

Jake looked down at his hands on the table, and then up at Chris and his obnoxious grin, and then over at the waitress at the diner and held up two fingers to order a refill of their cups. "Alright." Jake nodded, "I am _not_ B.S.A.A so I don't _have_ to do anything. Unlike you."

"It was a service provided to you extraordinarily." Chris said, watching as the waitress poured their coffee. Jake said something to the waitress that Chris didn't understand apart from the word _America_. The waitress smiled while answering and looked over at Chris, leaving the coffee pot on the table. "What did you just tell her?"

Jake smiled secretive, and took a sip of his coffee with a haughty expression. "Told her that we had a lot to talk about. So she could leave the coffee."

"That's all?" Chris asked suspiciously.

"Yup." Jake said nodding at the coffee pot to urge Chris to fill his cup. He looked up at the clock again, and then back at Chris, "Excuse me." Jake said and got up, "Don't look at me like that, wanna come along and hold it?"

"No, no..." Chris shook his head, and blinked slowly.

Jake left for the bathroom, leaving Chris in the diner. He opened the window to the back alley, and pulled a cigarette from his pocket before unzipping his pants and going about his business. He wondered if he was being too hard on Chris the soldier boy, all he did was to act on Sherry's behalf. But he didn't want to talk to Chris; he also didn't really Wanna talk to Sherry. He just wanted them all to leave him alone so he could get back to what he was before. He had been quite content before Sherry had turned his life upside down. And he was quite sure she'd do it again if he let her, or her lapdog. He zipped his pants again and ashed in the urinal before hitting the flush button. A slight rap on the door to the bathroom, and the waitress opening her eyes on the floor, "He's out cold." She said.

"Excellent." Jake said, "I'll be right there." He washed his hands and walked out into the diner again, and right enough Chris was fast asleep across the table. "You are a gem Jelena," He smiled at the waitress. "Let's get him to the sofa in the back, don't want him to get robbed while he is getting his beauty sleep." He chuckled, and pulled the unconscious Chris unto his hip with a labored huff. Chris' head nestled on his shoulder and his breath fanned out softly on Jake's neck, it gave him some not too unpleasant goose bumps. Eyes on the price Muller, he told himself and hoisted Chris off into the back room and laid him down and gently placed a rough weaved blanket over him. "How long will he be out?" He asked Jelena who stood in the door.

"A couple of hours the least. He looked like a big guy, so I gave him double dose." She smiled sweetly.

"You did good." Jake said and looked down at the sleeping Chris one last time, and then walked over to Jelena and put an arm around her shoulders. "When are you off?"

"Half an hour." She said.

"Good," He pulled out fifty American dollars and gave them to Jelena. "Thank you."

"Any time, Mr. Muller."

Jake caressed her cheek and walked out of the diner, he had to be fast, relocate from the hotel to somewhere Chris couldn't find him. He would be absolutely fucking livid when he woke.

It took him an hour to bribe the hotel manager and pack his bike. Ample time, to be gone before Chris Redfield rejoined the living.

He had made it out of town, and two villages over when his phone buzzed in his pocket, he knew it was Sherry before he looked at the display. Against his better judgment he flipped the phone up, and mumbled, "Yeah."

"Jake oh my god, are you okay?" Sherry asked in the other end.

"I'm fine, supergirl." Jake smiled slightly, looking out over the sun setting; the clouds looked like rain and he really need to find shelter soon. Also there was a bigger chance of running into monsters when it was dark. "Look it's gonna rain, and I'm gonna talk to you later." He said softly, not really admitting that he had missed Sherry's voice.

"Look before you go, I hope you won't be mad, but you weren't answering my calls or texts, so I asked Chris to look in on you, he is in Edonia on a mission – and-"

"I met him." Jake snickered, "I'm sure you'll hear from him soon. And oh Sherry? You owe me a thousand American dollars." He started to laugh as he could hear her confusion through the phone. "Nah just kidding about the money." He could hardly believe he'd said that.

"Growing soft?" Sherry laughed.

"When it comes to you, always." Jake said with a smile. "Look I really have to go." They said their goodbyes and Jake pocketed his phone again, his smile wouldn't go away, he could hardly wait to hear what Chris would tell Sherry about their meeting.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Sorry that I had not caught the Sherry/Shelly thing in the last chaper, I must have typoed it at some point and the damn autocorrect remembered, and I have not been paying attention. I tend to just write in a frenzy can't say I nitpick in my stuff, that is what a beta is for :P - anyway corrected it in chapter 1, and it's not in chapter 2 so yeah.. i have no clue, man. Thank you for pointing it out though. - This chapter is NSFW! - And specifically for , remember I never once said I wrote canon.

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He never did call Sherry back, nor did he pick up when she called him four times in a row, and sent him a text message that just said 'pick up'. He knew he should tell her to stop calling, but he just didn't have the heart. He wanted her to go on with her life and stop worrying about what he got himself into.

It was about that time when he ran into Chris Redfield again, Jake had thought he had lost him after a month of moving from place to place, and it wasn't like it was a major offense so he didn't think Chris would have the time or means to track him down. Jake was standing at a market stall in broad daylight, talking to the woman who ran the stall, getting himself some groceries, listening to the woman's problems with her landlord. Suddenly he was spun around and slammed up against the corner pole of the stall, his instinct was to fight back, but his assailant had pinned both his hands over his head. "You."

Jake's angry frown made way into a shit-eating grin, "Chris, the soldier boy."

"You fucking drugged me you little shit." Chris hissed, his brown eyes were hard and unyielding.

"Technically I didn't." Jake said still with a smile on his face, looking Chris straight into his eyes, and for a moment they just stood like that, chest against chest, breathing. And for a moment Jake thought that Chris was gonna kiss him. Not that he was opposed to the thought however strange, he didn't even like him.

The woman in the stall discretely cleared her throat and brought the two men back to the fact that they were standing about like idiots in a busy market. Chris let go of Jake, and stepped back, "You're still an asshole." he growled looking anywhere than on Jake.

Jake raised an amused eyebrow wondering if Chris had felt it too, that split second where Jake had wondered if Chris' lips were as soft as they looked. He observed Chris as he rubbed his neck self-conscious. Yeah Soldier boy had totally felt that moment too. That knowledge made Jake smile. "Alright," He said, "Let me make it up to you."

Chris looked up confused, "Why?"

"Do I really have to have a reason?" Jake shrugged, "Maybe it's because I know Sherry would rip me a new one if I don't play nice, or maybe it's because I'm just an all-around nice guy?"

Chris actually laughed at this. "No more diners."

Jake held up his hands, "Promise." He pulled the sleeves of his jacket back, "Look nothing up my sleeves."

"Fucking wise ass." Chris mumbled, but didn't move, just waiting for Jake to suggest something.

Jake shook his head amused and turned around to pay the woman in the stall, and grabbed his bag of food. "So what brings you all the way out here?" He asked, knowing that Chris heard him.

"B.S.A.A -"

"Business, yeah yeah." Jake started to walk and Chris followed, "What puzzles me is what interest the B.S.A.A would have in this little village in the middle of nowhere."

"That's for me to know, and you to -" Chris shook his head amused, "You get the point."

Jake just nodded as he turned down a narrow alley towards the hotel where he was staying; he wasn't entirely sure why Chris was still following him, he stopped in the middle of the alley and turned towards Chris, who wore that ever present mildly surprised expression like he was a lost little boy. Jake couldn't help it, his eyes sought out those full lips, so terribly tempting had they not belonged to Chris Redfield. "What is this about, Redfield?" He asked, "You and I are not friends, so what do you wanna do? Sit around and tell battle stories?" When Chris licked his lips Jake had to look away.

"Way I see it, Claire thinks the world of Sherry, and so do I. And Sherry seems to think you are a good person. So maybe you just haven't been showing those redeeming qualities when I was around." Chris stated, "Sherry is like a little sister to my sister, so excuse me for -"

"Checking me out?" Jake said, leaning casually against a trashcan. "So you are telling me you are playing friends because of Sherry?"

"A little simplified, but yes." Chris said with a nod, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive stance.

Jake laughed, he actually laughed out loud so long that his stomach hurt. "I am not fucking your princess if that is what you worry about, so you don't need to go all big brotherly on me."

"Okay." Chris just said, not willing to admit that he had actually thought that it would have something to do with Sherry's weird fascination of this guy. "Well..." He searched for the right words, "That's one less problem."

Jake just huffed amused, "Indeed." They stood about in silence for a little while, "I take it our business is done, I'll let you get back to yours and -" He pushed off the trashcan and looked at Chris for a second before he thought 'fuck it' and grabbed the other man and returned the gesture from earlier, slamming him up against the brick wall in the alley, smiling at Chris' confused expression, and his smile widening when Chris didn't fight him. He just had to know if those goddamn tempting lips were as soft and maddening as they looked. Besides he didn't have to deal with Chris getting angry with him, it wasn't like they ever had to talk again. He leaned in and his lips met Chris' they were every bit as velvety as Jake had thought. But he pulled back and looked at Chris again, just standing there breathing staring back at him. Jake let go of Chris and stepped back, he was about to turn and walk away when he suddenly found himself whirled around and a pair of soft lips crashed against his, this kiss was very different from Jake's initially chaste one, it was all tongue and teeth.

Chris pulled back to catch his breath and look at Jake who was just as short of breath as him. He wasn't sure that this was a good idea by any means, but the air around them were so charged that he was surprised it didn't crackle and pop. He was pleasantly surprised when Jake pulled him in for another kiss.

This was absolute fucking madness, and Jake was positive that he had gone insane when he whispered, "Come on," And pulled Chris down the alley, stumbling towards the cheap hotel. Why did he always invite trouble into his life, and he was dead sure that jumping into bed with Chris Redfield was the mother of all bad decisions.

They tumbled through the door in an undignified way, and Jake hurriedly kicked the door shut before Chris pulled him close again, kissing him with passion. "This is a bad idea." He panted, "No shit," Jake grinned back, shimmying off his jacket, and pulled his shirt off in a fluent pull. His skin formed goose bumps in the wake of Chris' hands. He pushed Chris to the bed, where he too pulled off his bulletproof vest and his shirt. For a moment Jake just stood there and stared, it seemed so surreal that Chris was here, in his bed, taking his clothes off.

"Having second thoughts?" Chris asked, sitting on the bed with his shirt crumbled between his hands.

Jake raised an eyebrow, "No." He said with a smile, "I was just -" He stepped forward and rested a knee on each side of Chris' thighs on the bed. "It's not important." He whispered, kissing Chris' jaw in an open mouthed sloppy kiss, he could feel Chris smile against his skin, and his hands found their way to his back again. It was a special feeling to have Chris' arms around him, to feel like he could crush the life out of him if he wanted to, it was – thrilling. Chris suddenly flipped them around, tossing Jake on his back against the flimsy queen-sized bed. He popped up on his elbows and watched Chris.

As Chris was undoing Jake's belt, unbuttoning his jeans, he suddenly looked up in mild alarm, "Do you have any... you know."

"No." Jake admitted, "Didn't exactly count on getting laid, is that – eh is that gonna be a problem?" He hoped it wouldn't cause if Chris stopped touching him now, he thought he might go crazy.

"Suppose not." Chris smiled boyish opening his own pants pushing them down a little before he crawled on top of Jake.

Jake wrapped his arms around Chris' neck and kissed him, gasping softly into the kiss as he felt Chris' hand wrap around both their erections, grinding them together. For a second Jake worried that he would just shoot his load like a teenage boy, he would ask Chris to stop if he wouldn't feel completely humiliated.

"Fuck," Chris moaned, biting Jake's lip.

"Nnhnn," Jake just hummed in agreement, arching his back as he sucked in his breath sharply, before he climaxed embarrassingly fast. He couldn't help but to chuckle while he caught his breath, running his hands down Chris' spine. Chris started to laugh too, his chest rumbling with amusement. "Sorry."

Chris lifted his head from the crook of Jake's neck, and grinned down at the man under him before he rolled over on his side next to Jake. "Could we maybe try again in five?"

Jake laughed as he kicked off his boots; they hit the floor with loud thuds, followed by Chris'. "Yeah." He snickered.

Jake had felt uncharacteristically giddy for days after Chris left, he knew that the B.S.A.A had left the village all together, and he was starting to think that maybe he should do the same, go back to the city and maybe get a job of some sorts that actually paid something, Sherry and her friends had rubbed off on him in regards to the goodwill stuff, he actually enjoyed helping people, even if their only payment was a meal, but he needed repairs to his bike, new boots and the hotels weren't for free either.

His mind kept wandering back to Chris even if he didn't want it to. It was what it was, it's not like they had promised each other anything. It had been a spur of the moment thing, an absolutely fantastic spur of the moment thing. But as he had known when he had first kissed Chris, there was absolutely no reason for them to ever meet again, so he should just put it to rest. Still the grin was on his face for days.

The manager of the hotel he had stayed on in the city, even pointed out that he looked better and told him that country air was good for him. Jake had just agreed and went to his room. He tossed his bag in the armchair and went straight for the bathroom; he was dying for a bath after two days on his bike. He heard his phone chime with a message, and one more straight after. He shook his head and figured that Sherry was bored. Jake stepped in under the soft spray of water, and cautiously studied his inner thigh; it still had a faint bite mark from where Chris had bitten him. Jake smiled to himself at the memory, that was just about the best fucking blowjob he had ever had, whoever had thought soldier boy would have known what he was doing. Jake turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, slightly annoyed that he had not thought about sex in ages, and here he was unable to think about anything but. Goddamn Chris Redfield and that mouth of his.

He wrapped the towel around his waist, and went into the bedroom picking up his phone, sitting down on the foot end of the bed checking his messages. And right enough the first was from Sherry, it just said 'Heard you talked to Chris, I'm glad you guys are getting along. I knew you would'. Jake actually grinned, "Indeed," He said to himself and texted her back, 'he's alright'. He checked the next message it was from a number he didn't have in his phone, and he hesitantly opened the message, which just said 'Where are you? - C' Jake just stared at the message; it had to be Chris, where the hell did he have his number from? And why would he ask where he was? He thought that, yeah what had he thought? What he had thought and what he secretly hoped was two different things, because he would be lying to himself if he tried to say that he didn't want more of what Redfield had to give. He just hadn't thought there would be another opportunity, ever. He took a deep breath and texted 'Belgrade city hotel' hoping he wasn't making a mistake.

He tossed the phone on the bed and walked over to the minibar, he needed a drink, bad. Choosing the one that sounded the least disgusting he unscrewed the lid and drank half coughing as it burned down his throat, whatever it was he had taken it was closer to urinal cleaner than alcohol. The phone chimed again, and Jake scolded himself for the sweet thrill that went down his back at the thought of it being Chris. He flipped the phone open and pressed the message, 'I'll be there in 15 - C' "What?" Jake literally yelled out, the thought of Chris' hands and mouth went straight to Jake's groin, he sat and stared at the message for a while and then he texted back 'Room 209'. He should have texted something obnoxious like 'Great I was just in the mood for ass' but he didn't. He didn't do anything he just sat there in his towel and finished his hideous mini bottle of liquor with the phone besides him.

Soon after he heard a soft knock on his door, and he went to open it up, heart hammering in his chest much to his annoyance. He didn't want to care, and he didn't want to want Chris as bad as he did. He took a deep breath and hoped he didn't reek of desperation as he opened the door. Outside in the dim light of the hallway stood Chris, short of breath from running, his cheeks and ears bright red. "Hi," He panted.

"Hi." Jake mirrored and opened the door a little more to let Chris inside.

"Uhm..." Chris said, pocketing his hands clearly having something on his mind that he didn't know how to say. "I asked Sherry for your number," He admitted, "Told her I had a job for you." He smiled boyish.

"Is that so?" Jake said amused, walking in a beeline to the minibar, "A drink?" He offered over his shoulder.

"Yes please." Chris said, nodding. "You don't mind, do you? About the phone number."

"Mind? no." Jake said with a smile handing a mini-bottle of whatever to Chris. "Surprised, yes."

"Yeah I know, I thought that what happened was just that, you know... excess energy and pent up frustration or... man that came out wrong, but you know what I mean right?" Chris grinned a little awkwardly, unscrewing the lid of the bottle.

"Yeah," Jake said mentally kicking himself for sounding like a complete retard.

"But you see, I can't get you out of my mind, and I wondered if you perhaps -"

Jake smiled, this was what you got when you had two guys who never learned how to talk feelings trying to say 'I want to see you again' in manlish. And he decided to take pity on Chris seeing him standing there literally squirming. "Yes." He just said, taking a sip of something that tasted vaguely like peach and disinfectant, what the hell was it with this place and the cheap booze?

"Yes what?" Chris asked, not sure he had heard right.

"I do," Jake said with a quick smile.

"Ah good." Chris both looked and sounded visibly relieved, and like was he testing waters he reached out and caressed Jake's cheek. And Jake leaned into the caress closing his eyes. It was just easier than to force out words that neither of them were any good at.

Chris reached down into his pocket and pulled out something and tossed it on the bed, and when Jake looked he started to laugh, it was a pack of condoms and lube. "You came prepared." He laughed, "Presumptuous huh?"

"A little maybe." Chris admitted with a goofy expression that took ten years off him. "I just wanted to do it right, you know?" He admitted softly, resting his hand on Jake's hip, and the other still holding the mini-bottle.

Jake forced the butterflies in his stomach to behave, he didn't want to like Chris. But it was close to impossible the way those brown eyes looked at him, like he was special. "I know." Jake mumbled and put the bottle away, noting that Chris did the same.

"Could I perhaps borrow the shower?" Chris asked blushing a little, "I've been on a two day recon, and then sprinting here.."

"Sprinting?"

"Yeah, almost knocked over an old lady and everything." Chris laughed.

"Sure, go ahead." Jake nodded towards the bathroom, and went past Chris to lock the door to the hall.

He sat down on the bed, picking up the condoms and the lube placing them on the side table, checking his phone adding Chris' number to his library, listening to the shower being turned on. For one insane moment he wondered how they got from Chris the soldier and Jake the mercenary to this, but he supposed that stranger things had happened.

The door to the bathroom opened and Chris came out, he walked directly over to the bed and Jake. Jake made a move to stand but Chris held him down with a hand on his shoulder, "Lay down." He said, and Jake did, he scooted further in on the bed and lay down. "Still got the mark." He said with a smile, his fingers ghosting over Jake's inner thigh and the faint bite-mark.

"Yeah," Jake whispered, not sure what to do yet, waiting for Chris to do something. Chris leaned in and kissed the bite-mark, gently pushing Jake's thighs apart. "I like that," Jake mumbled, opting for giving Chris something back, "That you marked me." He added, Chris looked up at Jake, his lips still on the soft skin of Jake's inner thigh. "Yeah?" He asked,

"Yeah." Jake admitted with a vague blush, funny cause it felt so personal to admit, yet how much more personal can it get when someone has their face two inches from your genitals.

Chris reached out for the lube, and Jake didn't object. Normally he'd never bottom for anyone, but Chris did funny things to his reasoning, he made Jake just want to submit and let it happen. He honestly couldn't remember the last time anyone stirred that inside him. Jake closed his eyes and let out a stuttering breath as Chris' lips made it to his balls, the teasing tongue continued down over his balls and down towards his rectum, Chris pushed Jake's pelvis up a little, spreading his cheeks with strong hands. Jake could only moan "Oh God," As the teasing tongue lapped at his hole, circling, stabbing, drool cooling on his skin as it dripped down between his ass cheeks and down on the bed. When Chris added the rough pad of his thumb to his tongue, putting pressure on Jake's anus testing grounds, Jake tensed. Chris stopped and looked up at Jake's face, he looked worried and blown at the same time. "You okay?" Chris asked, easing Jake's butt back on the bed.

Jake opened his eyes and looked straight up into Chris' worried eyes, "It's just been a while," Jake admitted, "I'm good."

Chris rose a brow, "You never bottomed, have you?"

"No." Jake admitted, "But really, I'm fine."

Chris' features smoothed out and his smile was loving. "But you'd do it for me?" He asked caressing Jake's eyebrow, cheek and chin.

It almost physically hurt his pride to answer, "Yes."

"Careful Jake, I might come to believe that you like me." Chris teased, pouring lube unto his hand, slicking his fingers. He smiled "Turn over on your side." He whispered, laying down behind Jake, propping Jake's top leg towards his chest, kissing his shoulder and neck, rubbing a finger against Jake's spit wet anus.

Jake reached down under his leg and took himself in his hand, slowly rubbing himself to keep himself hard, he pinched his eyes shut under the alien feeling of Chris' finger breaching the guardian muscle and working itself inside him, it was weird but not unwelcome, and not completely unknown territory. The rotating to relax the tight ring was however new, and Jake sped up his hand a little. A second finger joined the first, stroking inside him, a shudder went through his entire body when they brushed his prostate, "Mmm," Chris mumbled feeling Jake relax starting to actually enjoy the intrusion, "I can't wait to be inside you," Chris whispered, biting Jake's earlobe being rewarded with a lewd moan. Chris worked Jake's prostate adding a third finger, probing, loosening him up.

Once in a while the fingers rubbing his prostate sent a shiver up his spine of pure lust, and he just gave in to it all, the feeling of Chris' fingers inside him, knowing it was Chris' fingers made his cock twitch, and the sweet horny nonsense that Chris mumbled in his ear added another layer. "Do it," Jake moaned.

Chris moaned in Jake's ear and sat up on his knees, looking down at Jake that looked better than anything his mind had conjured up in the dark of night, he reached for the condoms and the lube, watching Jake rolling over on his back, looking back up at him while he got himself ready. Jake ran a hand over Chris' hipbone and thigh, holding his breath as Chris finally moved down between his legs. Chris leaned down and kissed Jake, there was no reason to tell him to relax or any of the other goddamn clichés, Jake had probably said them to someone else a hundred times over. So Chris just distracted Jake with a kiss, gasping as Jake bit his lip hard when he just pushed the head of his cock inside in one jab. The kiss continued and now saliva mingled with blood, not that any of them cared.

Jake tangled his fingers in the sheet, it was a strange feeling of lust and pain, and maybe a little sweet shame in knowing that Chris Redfield of all people was balls deep inside him, and he loved it.

"You feel so good," Chris slurred as he placed open mouthed horny kisses along Jake's jawline. And when he moved Jake grit his teeth, it felt like he was on fire, and not the good kind. Chris spat in his hand and wrapped it around Jake's now flaccid cock, timing his shallow slow thrusts with his hand, and slowly the pain gave away for something else, Jake's eyes fluttered shut and his legs relaxed and fell out further, allowing Chris more room to navigate, Chris grabbed a hold of the headboard of the bed, and the strokes became slow and deep, his hips rolling and snapped a hard deep thrust which made Jake arch of the bed and breathe a curse. Chris smiled and did it again.

"Jesus fuck!" Jake finally breathed.

Chris slowed down and eased down to kiss his lover once more. It was something else to see Jake Muller of all people squirming from the pleasure at the beckoning of his cock, it was almost mind-blowing just to think about. To control chaos even if it was just for a short time. And Chris wasn't sure he could ever get enough. He angled himself a little better aiming to hit Jake's prostate with every thrust.

Jake pulled his legs up to let Chris thrust deeper, tendrils of pure lust flaring, but his legs trembled too much for him to hold them there and he had to let them fall back on the mattress. Jake let out a sound that in his own ears it sounded somewhere between a whine and a mewl. He could hear Chris moan and huff, and opened his eyes to look at Chris hovering over him. Jake arched off the bed once more as a jolt of pleasure traveled up his spine. "Come on Soldier boy," He panted, blinking sweat out of his eyes, "Fuck me like you mean it." He would have smiled if his mouth would have let him, but Chris most certainly heard the challenge and rose to meet it.

Chris grabbed a hold on Jake's hip with both hands, and flipped him over, "You got it," Chris whispered with a badly hidden exited shiver in his voice, one hand held down Jake between his shoulder blades, the other had a firm grip on his hip.

Jake reached in under himself and stoked, and the other hand he used to push back against the headboard. "Fuck yeah," Chris gasped somewhere behind him, he said a whole bunch of other stuff that Jake didn't hear, apparently Chris was into dirty talk, and it was not like he would object, but his blood pumped so hard that it was all he could hear, his legs trembled still and his arm was already hurting in the shoulder joint from the awkward position but he didn't mind. Something stirred under what seemed like layers of different, quicker cheaper orgasms. "Oh God yes!" He heard himself moan in something close to a sob which was a sound he wasn't sure he had ever heard coming from himself. "Again! Fuck!" Jake felt mostly like crying when his world reduced to the feeling of Chris pounding into him, and the low buzzing feeling slowly made its way to the top, mostly like an air bubble in water, Jake hardly dared to breathe, or move in fear of the feeling mounting would disappear, his entire world became that growing feeling inside, he gasped and finally the bubble came to the surface and when it broke so did Jake.

It took him long minutes to come down and back to reality. "God," was all he could say and laugh breathlessly. Chris lying on his side trying to catch his breath, "Wow," he grinned. "Who would have thought."

"What the hell was that?" Jake asked, knowing full well what it was, it had just been so intense that he didn't know what else to say.

Chris had a million smart-assed comments lined up, but Jake looked so genuinely surprised and happy, that he didn't have the heart to. "That was us." He whispered, kissing Jake's shoulder.

Jake was not even aware that they had fallen asleep, but he woke to the bleak rays of the sun and his body still felt heavy. He could feel Chris breathing on his neck, and the warm heavy arm over his waist. Jake figured that Chris was asleep so he tenderly ran his fingers down Chris' arm, mapping scars and dents all the way to his hand. He sized his own hand against it and thought about how many men and mutations that these hands had killed combined, and yet they could still touch another person softly. Quite deep when you think about it, Jake smiled at his own silly thoughts, and spread his fingers sliding them down between Chris'. He almost jerked his hand back when Chris' hand suddenly grabbed his, holding his hand in a deadlock. "Are you a cuddler, Mr. Muller?" came the amused, sleeping voice from behind.

"Only when I think my victim is sleeping." Jake huffed, but squeezed Chris' hand gently. Soft lips kissed him between his shoulder blades and up his neck, Chris guiding their clasped hands down between them, Jake grinned, and turned over a little so he could wrap his hand around Chris' morning erection. "Can't get enough huh?" Jake whispered in Chris' ear, while he stroked him with hard firm strokes that he knew would finish him pretty fast.

"Of you? No." Chris whispered licking his lips, closing his eyes, turning his head to kiss Jake, morning breath and all.

Jake knew he should have freaked out, he didn't have time for this love affair nonsense, but instead he felt something close to pride, and just whispered, "Good," between kisses.

Chris came pretty fast and just cuddled up to Jake again, "I need to get going soon." He whispered, "I have to report back to - "

"It's fine," Jake said stretching in the confinement of Chris' arms. "I can't lounge around here all day either."

"I'm gonna borrow your shower again if that's okay." Chris grinned. Jake nodded weakly and Chris kissed the corner of his mouth, "What do you say we go out and eat later, like actually eat, and none of us falls into coma."

Jake chuckled and sat up as Chris got out of bed and scratched his side idly while walking to the bathroom. "We can do that." He said, knowing instantly that if they did that they would cross that invisible line between just fucking, and actually something else, something more. He wasn't sure how to react to that, he never really dealt in real lovers.

"Great, this time I pick the place."


	3. Chapter 3

Jake felt like his steps were a little lighter and his smile was a little more real that day, a little nagging voice inside told him that he shouldn't let himself do this. Even the dull soreness in his ass was only a reminder of last night. He had not cared about anyone for years, when his mother had died there had not been a single person in this world that he gave two shits about, not until Sherry sort of got under his skin. And now this! What was he even doing? Chris Redfield for fucks sake! Wonder how many times they had to end up in bed before he was able to wrap his heard around it.

The butterflies inside didn't care about his doubts, they just fluttered on.

He was waiting about in a different diner for a contact for a job of dubious nature, but he really needed the money, when his phone chimed. He picked it up to check it, thinking it might be the contact, but it was from Chris, 'can't make it – later?' And no invisible lines were crossed that day. 'got work so maybe' he texted back, it was both true, and he didn't want to come off as desperate as he felt. Just the thought of Chris' heavy breathing and nonsense mumbled in his ear, made him smile.

He shut his phone to look up and see a clean cut businessman stand in front of him, "Mr. Muller?"

"Yes," Jake said taking the folder that the businessman held out, he opened it and saw the picture of a B.S.A.A operative, he looked up at the businessman, "B.S.A.A that will cost you extra mister Koryavin." He held the folder out towards the businessman again, "It's gonna be hard to get to him."

The businessman sighed, "Alright Muller, name your price."

"You want him dead or dead-ish?" Jake asked with a shrug.

"Dead, gone." The businessman said.

"Alright," Jake licked his lips, he fucking hated suits and their self-important attitude. "We agreed on five thousand American dollars originally, I want eight."

"You got it." The businessman said relieved, he had apparently feared that Jake would bump the price to something ridiculous. But he didn't know that Jake really, really needed a input of green, had he known that he would have been able to work his way down to half the asked price.

"We got a deal Mr. Koryavin." Muller said, "Give me a week."

The businessman opened his briefcase and counted money notes, handed Jake three thousand, "You get the rest when it's done."

Jake just nodded and took the money on the businessman's hand. "I will contact you when it's done." He said and walked out of the diner with steady strides. Well, well mister Jones, he thought to himself. Looks like your number is up. He bought some takeaway food and a bottle of some better booze than what the hotel had to offer and went straight to his hotel room, he had some reading to do the surveillance had to wait till tomorrow.

It was dark when his phone buzzed again, 'Still awake?' the text from Chris said, and for a moment Jake wondered if he should ignore it, but against his better judgment he texted back 'No, can't sleep'. Not a full minute had gone by before Chris texted back, 'I can be there in ten if you want company' – This made Jake grin, hell yes he wanted company, and the booze made him cocky, and so with a grin he texted back 'be here in five and I'm gonna suck your cock'. He got off the bed and gathered his papers and stuffed them down in his bag, Chris would never look there, he sat down and kicked off his boots, and realized that he might be a little more drunk than he thought.

Exactly seven minutes after the text there was a knock on his door, Jake got up and opened it, seeing Chris leaning against the wall with one hand trying to catch his breath in long painful gasps of air. "I tried," He grinned.

Jake just smiled and pulled Chris inside, slamming the still short of breath man up against the door and kissed him.

"You been drinking?" Chris asked, tasting the alcohol.

Jake just placed a long finger over Chris' lips as the other fumbled with his belt and button of his pants. "Shah," He hushed and then unceremoniously dropped to his knees, pulling Chris' hardening cock out of his pants, he licked a wet trail underneath it and ended up in the slit. He smiled as he heard Chris make a little cooing sound, his hand coming down to rest on Jake's head. Jake held on to the root of Chris' cock, and the other hand on the man's hip, taking the most of Chris' erection in his mouth, he had to admit that he was not without gag reflex unlike some of the people he had met in his time, so this just had to do. But the way that Chris scraped his nails over his scalp told him he was doing alright.

When Chris came, Jake let go and closed his eyes, feeling the warm spurts hit his face, it was okay really. Chris hauled him to his feet and kissed him smearing the semen on them both in the process. "You are fucking perfect," Chris mumbled.

"Yeah I don't like you either," Jake whispered back, biting Chris' jaw playfully. Chris stepped forward and pushed Jake back stumbling unto the bed. "Are you still sore?" He asked softly.

"A little," Jake admitted, and that apparently pleased Chris as he started to kiss Jake again, deep and passionately, his hands making it up under his shirt, "I wish I could carry you in my pocket and break you out and fuck you a couple of times a day." Chris grinned.

Jake smiled but wasn't amused, and had to remind himself that no lines were crossed, this was what they had. "Do I look like a fuck-fairy to you?" Jake asked half in seriousness half as a joke.

"I just meant that I wish you were around all the time." Chris said with a soft smile, to which Jake eased up, and when Chris' hand made it down his pants and stroked down his confined erection, he could tell that Chris had an idea by the devious grin on his kissable lips. "Look at me," he whispered, unbuttoning Jake's pants while never breaking eye contact.

Jake struggled with not closing his eyes or doing anything else while Chris slowly got him off with his hand, it was strangely intimate, but the booze still in his system sung at the prospect of the challenge. Jake licked his lips, and sucked in his breath as Chris' thumb circled the tip of his cock. "Are you gonna make me beg?" He whispered hotly.

"If I can," Chris answered breathlessly still keeping eye contact, nose to nose lying in the bed.

Jake actually purred at that.

And Chris stuck out his tongue and licked Jake's lower lip, "Fuck you're hot." He whispered.

A lazy grin formed on Jake's lips.

"Thought of you earlier," Chris whispered.

"Really?" Jake bit his lip.

"Mhhmm." Chris cooed as Jake's hips stuttered, his body finally giving in to the stimulation. "This bathroom had a sink, there was a mirror," He licked Jake's lower lips again as a soft moan left his lips, "And I wondered what you'd look like getting fucked, up against it." He trailed off to kiss Jake and swallow a new moan.

Jake's fingers grabbing on to Chris' shirt as his hips rose to thrust into the battle hardened hand wrapped around him.

Chris let out a long breath and squeezed Jake's cock lightly, "I imagine you'd look something like this," He whispered.

Never in a million years had Jake pegged Chris Redfield as being kinky, but now he knew better. A+ to the dirty talk that was for sure, he was so goddamn close. So, so close. "Jake," Chris whispered and kissed him again. Jake's entire body spasmed as he climaxed, and he almost bit Chris' tongue.

Chris chuckled into the kiss and gently let go of Jake's spent cock, wiping his fingers on his own pants. "Can I have some of that booze?" He asked.

"Sure," Jake grinned, and popped up on his elbows, "What would your boss say if he knew you spent your nights in strange men's hotel room, getting hammered."

"Uhm," Chris said taking a healthy swipe of the bottle, "Be careful, I suppose."

"Yeah, no shit," Jake said, wondering if that didn't go for them both. And for an insane moment he wanted to tell Chris that he sort of liked him, who was he kidding? He was falling fast and hard, something he wouldn't even admit to himself. "So Chris, still gonna fuck me against a mirror?" He grinned as he accepted the bottle from the other man.

"If you want me to." Chris said smiling.

"Yeah I think I do." He said with the sweetest smile that had ever taken up space in Jake's face.

"You know what?" Chris said taking back the bottle, kicking his boots off, "You look like a cat, lying like this. A big cat that was just fed." He grinned at his own words, but it was true, as Jake was lounging on the bed like he did with that feline, observing ever present look on his face, he looked like something like a cougar in a tree. Full, happy and on top of the world.

Jake smiled a little thoughtful, "Kotik," He said seriously, "That's what my mother called me." He watched as Chris took another swing of the potent booze, "Means kitten."

"Yeah maybe you are, a kitten posing as a lion." Chris smiled lying down on the bed again sighing happily as Jake wrapped his arm and leg over him and got comfortable. He ran a hand over Jake's buzz cut, "My mother called me peanut,"

This made Jake snicker, he couldn't really imagine Chris as a peanut.

"Yeah, princess and peanut." Chris chuckled so his shoulders shook.

"Your parents back in America?" Jake asked softly, closing his eyes enjoying listening to Chris' heartbeat, strong and safe.

"They're both dead," Chris stated softly.

"I'm sorry." Jake mumbled.

"So am I." Chris whispered back. "But if you call me peanut, I might have to kick your ass."

Jake laughed softly, "People might think I was referring to something else, like the size of your -"

"Don't you dare." Chris tried to sound threatening but failed miserably as his grin wouldn't go down.

"Penis," Jake finished, and before he knew it, he was wrestling Chris till they both fell off the bed laughing.

"I can still kick your ass," Chris huffed poking Jake in the side making him squirm, "Ticklish?"

"Don't." Jake warned, and when Chris just poked him again, making him shy away from the poking digit to his flank, he could see the sadistic amusement in Chris' eyes, and he grabbed his wrist, "Don't! I am warning you!"

"Or else?" Chris raised an amused brow.

"I am gonna tie you to the shower, turn on the cold water and leave for walk." Jake said, still struggling with keeping Chris' hand away from his side.

"Sounds like a challenge." Chris said seriously, but his smile gave him away. Jake already at the disadvantage of laying half under Chris to begin with, it was no problem for Chris to get on top, and pin Jake's hands on the floor over his head.

"Pfft, I let you win," Jake huffed sourly at being bested again.

"I know," Chris whispered, leaning down to kiss him softly and demanding.

Jake had no idea what it was about Chris that had him acting like a goddamn teenager, and apparently it was mutual as he heard Chris whimper as Jake rubbed his awakening erection up against Chris' clothed ass.

Jake was enjoying his morning coffee on a stone staircase in the sun, thinking of Chris and when he had left this morning, maybe it was okay that he felt all giddy? Chris seemed reluctant to leave, and not just because of what they had in bed, but he was hanging out talking about that he ought to cook him a decent meal, he was getting all skinny from that shitty cheap diner food. Maybe he cared, maybe it was okay to let go and admit that he was falling in love, to step into this alien territory where he didn't know how to gain footing, or navigate. Still his mind entertained him with images of Chris butt naked in an apron. His phone buzzed.

It was a disposable cell number, it could only be his contact, "Mr. Koryavin?" He said when he picked up.

"Mr. Muller, I have good news," The voice said, "Looks like your target will be on a mission off base. Would be much easier to access. I will send you the coordinates, the camp is by the river east of the city."

"Got it," Jake said, "Same price though."

"But of course, this was just a fortunate event in your favor." the voice said.

"Good." Jake answered and hung up. He wondered if he could get this done quickly so Chris would never notice he was not here.

A kid came up to Jake and poked his shoulder, "Are you ready Mr. Muller?"

Jake smiled at the kid, "Yes." He got up to his feet and followed the kid to the small football court behind a chain-link. "It's down there," A man who apparently was one of the kids father said.

"Alright," Jake said, he looked at the group of kids looking up at him, "would you get the grate mister?" He asked the dad. Jake got out his gun and smiled at the kids.

"That is the biggest gun I ever saw." One of the older kids said.

Jake just smiled, "Won it in a card game," and then made his way down the sewer hole. "Now where are you, you little fucker," He mumbled to himself. The kids had come to him and said they heard that he could solve their problem, there was something living in the storm drain on their football court, one child had already went missing and they suspected the monster in the drain. They had been broke, but he had accepted anyway. As he carefully searched the closest parts of the storm drain he told himself that this was why he did things like working for Koryavin. He wanted to help people who had nothing, but he couldn't live off goodwill and air. And when this whole business with the soldier was done, he wouldn't have to take on another job for a long time. Eight thousand dollars went a very long way here.

He heard a faint growl in one of the minor drains leading to the large one he was standing in. "Found you," He smiled, and got out his guns, inching forward he saw some huge ass thing that didn't even look like a j'avo anymore, it looked more like an octopus, like the mutation had gone completely haywire. It opened its mouth and hissed at him, and he just fired straight into its open mouth hoping its brain was behind there somewhere, or maybe just some other vital organ. The tentacles or mutated arms went still and Jake kicked it, it seemed dead. He'd just leave it there, and after he had stood still for a couple of minutes waiting to hear if more things hissed at him, he was satisfied that there had only been one.

He crawled up on the ground again, "Is it dead mister?" One kid asked.

"Yes." Jake said nodding, feeling good about himself. He turned to the dad and said, "I only found one, but there could be more hiding, so I suggest you shut that storm drain with something better than those two screws."

"Of course, thank you." The dad smiled.

Jake leaned against the chain-link fence watching the boys play football. "Hey there stranger." A voice said behind him, he closed his eyes and smiled, "Hi Chris"

"Hey Jake," Chris "I heard you were out hunting j'avos in the storm drain."

"Really? Who told you that?" Jake said with a casual shrug.

"Uhm, just about anyone I talked to when I went to look for you." Chris laughed, "These people seems to think you are some sort of deadly saint."

"Maybe I am," Jake said turning slightly so he could look at Chris through the chain-link fence.

"Or maybe you're just a kitten." Chris said with a little smile, which mirrored on Jake. "Anyway, I have some hours off and I thought that we might could go grab some food."

"Sure." Jake said mildly surprised, not just that Chris had come to find him in person instead of calling or texting, but that he wanted to spend all his precious downtime with him.

"I wish I could hold your hand," Chris suddenly said, alarming Jake.

"Well you can't." He just hissed out.

"I know," Chris said his shoulders sagging a little.

"It's just that these people are deeply religious, and - " Jake sighed, turning down an alley instead of taking the main road, and gingerly took Chris' hand. "What they don't know, can't harm anyone." He said with a little shrug. Secretly he thought it was just about the sweetest request he had ever heard. No one had ever asked to hold his hand, no one.

They walked down the alley, Chris squeezing Jake's hand, "This almost feels normal," He mused.

Jake actually felt his ears and cheeks burn hoping that Chris didn't notice him blushing like a teenage girl. And in that moment, the fine line was not just crossed, it was blasted into orbit. "This is normal to you?" He said opting for a joke.

"Well minus the hiding in alleys, but you seem to have a thing with that." Chris joked back.

They made it to the end of the alley, Jake actually hesitatied for a moment and then let go of Chris' hand, pocketing his in lack of other stuff to do with them now that they felt oddly empty. Chris mirrored Jake and stuck his hands in his pockets too, but kept walking by Jake's side, "Hey you mean it? You really wouldn't mind to be seen in public with me, you know.." Jake asked, feeling strangely vonurable as he did, but he just had to know, to somehow gauge their relationship.

"Of course I mean it." Chris smiled, "Look at you," He smiled, "Who wouldn't?"

Jake felt his ears heat up again, "You're crazy," He just said but it had no bite.

Dinner was good, Jake and Chris sat and had a cup of coffee letting the meal settle, "I did sort of have a reason to come find you," Chris said, his eyes sought out Jake's across the table, "I wanted to tell you face to face, so you didn't think it was just an bad excuse or nothing, cause it's not."

"Alright." Jake said, his brows furrowing in slight worry.

"Well I didn't get my orders till this morning, so -"

"You're going back to America?" Jake said, feeling an unwelcome knot form in his chest.

"No," Chris shook his head, he smiled lovingly at Jake, "nothing that serious." So Jake did care, he filed that away for later. "I have to leave Belgrade for a weeks' time."

"You do?" Jake asked without thinking.

"Yeah, can't really tell you much, but I won't be all that far, just outside the city. We can still text and uhm, keep in touch." Chris said, misinterpreting the worry on Jake's face for worry that he might disappear.

"That's – uh good." Jake felt bile in the back of his mouth, Oh god this couldn't happen!

"What's wrong?" Chris asked, reading Jake's face better than Jake would have liked.

"Nothing." Jake smiled, he had to save this situation goddammit. He leaned in over the table and looked directly into Chris' eyes, "I'm gonna miss you," He said, knowing it was true, more true than he wanted to admit. But he also knew that Chris would most likely stop asking what troubled him.

Chris' face smoothened out and his smile was warm and genuine, "I'm gonna miss you too."

An elderly lady in by the table next to them leaned in a little and asked Jake something in Serbian that he could see Jake was a little apprehensive about, but then he smiled at the lady and got up from the table, "Excuse me," He said with a little nod at Chris and walked over to the far end of the diner where an old dingy looking piano stood. Jake cracked his fingers and sat down, running his fingers over the piano and started to play the tune that the old lady had asked him if he would play. He had come to this diner many times before and some of the locals who spent most their day here had heard him play before. He actually loved it, he would never really let anyone know. Chris came and sat down on a chair next to the piano and just stared at Jake. "What?" Jake asked amused.

"That is beautiful!" Chris whispered in awe, "I didn't know.. I mean, wow."

"That I had many talents you mean?" Jake grinned dirty, and Chris had to look away with a little shy smile. "Just playing what the lady asked for." He smiled a little secretive smile, "Beethoven."

"Ah okay." Chris said, feeling dumb.

"Hey I can play a song for you too, I know something American." Jake said with a little smile, ending the tune that the lady had asked for and rolled his shoulders, "You should know this one." He started to play.

Chris just watched those long slim fingers dart over the tangents, amazed that they seemed so effortless in bringing forth the music, he was truly and utterly in awe. "Recognize it?" Jake asked and shook Chris from his thoughts. He listened for a little while and then nodded, "It's Amazing Grace."

"It is." Jake smiled, "Alright," Jake stopped playing and Chris looked up at him, "One more" Chris said.

"Okay, last one." Jake said, "Just to show off of course."

"Of course," Chris smiled.

"Franz Liszt," Jake smiled when Chris got that dopey look on his face.

"I knew that," Chris lied, badly. Jake laughed merrily from the pit of his stomach, a sound that Chris had decided that he was absolutely crazy about. And if he hadn't already fallen in love, he would have done so in this very moment.

Still playing Jake's smile widened, he had never imagined that Chris would care two shits about classical music, apparently he was wrong. Or maybe it was because he was playing it, whatever the reason Jake didn't care. But he loved to have Chris look at him like he did right now, he decided that adoration must be the word.

When they left that diner, Jake felt like he beamed. Chris looked at his watch and then at Jake, "Look I have to leave in ten minutes time, we have to clear of the base and on our way at nine hundred."

Jake nodded in understanding, "Sure."

"Hey, you're gonna call me or text me, right?" Chris asked, "promise?"

"I promise," Jake nodded, "And no I won't leave the country, or get married to the old lady in the diner either." Jake looked at Chris and discretely took his hand, hiding it behind them. "Be careful,"

"I will," Chris squeezed Jake's hand and let go. "Now excuse me, I have some excessive masturbating I have to get back to."

Jake laughed and stepped aside, "See you later Redfield."

"You too Muller," Chris said hesitating a moment before he turned and left. Jake watched him for a moment, and then turned as well. He would have to be super, extra careful so he wouldn't get caught by Chris. He turned into an open gate to a backyard and picked up his phone calling the contact, "I need a sniper rifle, the mission parameters changed." He just said.

"You will have it later tonight." The contact said, "Your hotel room."

"Good." Jake hung up, and leaned his head against the cold concrete behind him. "Fuck."


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: In which Jake gets drunk and freaks out. Just making that clear! -This bullshit is of course not something he'd ever think while sober._

* * *

Sitting in his hotel room alone that night, it felt strangely empty. Scary how fast he had gotten used to Chris being here. He got up and walked over to the window and opened it, looking out over what was left of Belgrade. He turned the phone in his hand, took a deep breath and texted Chris, he didn't want to call in case he was doing something important. He didn't know what to say so he just wrote, 'hey there handsome.'

The reply was instant, 'Hey there kitten'

Jake smiled at his phone, it knocked on his door, and he pocketed the phone to answer. He knew it wasn't Chris, but a small part of him sort of wished it was. It was a short chubby man with a black duffel bag. "Package to Muller." He said.

"Tell Koryavin thank you," Jake said and took the bag, closing the door in the chubby man's face. He tossed the bag on the bed and unzipped it; it held a rifle and a manila envelope, most likely a new map. He picked up the rifle and studied it, a fucking 527 Varmint, but he supposed that was what they could get their hands on with this short notice, that or they were pulling a fast one.

He sighed and put it back into the bag. He got his phone out and texted while he walked back to the window, 'Just wanted to say -' He frowned and deleted it; he didn't know what to say without saying too needy or corny. And maybe he should just give in and say what he wanted to say, 'wish you were here', he texted and hit send before he could change his mind.

The answer came shortly, 'I wish I was there too' Maybe it was a good thing that Chris couldn't see his face, the way he lit up in a horribly undignified smile. God how he wanted this to be real, he wanted to trust his instincts when they told him that no matter how weird it seemed, that Chris was just as much falling in love as he was. Jake sighed; just this one job and he could do what he loved for a long time, just kicking back and be with Chris when he had time. He just had to take out this one man, no sweat, right? 'Just wanted to say goodnight' he texted.

Seconds later a text ticked in, 'Are you in bed? Naked?' Jake laughed at that and kicked off his boots and closed the window before getting into bed fully dressed. Winter was on its way and the room wasn't heated yet. 'I'm not gonna sext you' he sent back, waiting for the reply that came instantly, 'aw why not? I'm cold and stuck looking over a bunch of trees and rocks – alone'

Jake rolled over on his back staring at the message, wondering if he should just comply, not that he would know how the hell to dirty talk over text messages. 'Goodnight Redfield' he texted imagining that Chris would be mock put off. The next message came pretty close after and said 'goodnight =(' "Oh my god, he even did the smiley thing" Jake groaned, and put the phone away and curled up in bed, he pulled the pillow close and inhaled, he could still smell Chris' aftershave on it, but that just made him miss him even more.

Eventually he had fallen asleep, the next morning he had not looked at the text from Chris that had come in while he slept, he just turned his phone off and checked the varmint one last time, picking up the file from his other bag, and slipped out of his hotel room, in his head he was memorizing notes, little dots on paper that would become music if played right, like he always did when he had to focus on something unpleasant.

He parked his bike a click from where he had reckoned he could get a vantage point, he hiked as close as he dared and slipped up the hill like a ghost to settle into a nook in the hillside. Silently he collected the rifle and carefully looked down the scope; Jake could see the camp just fine. He was in luck that they were focused on mindless mutated killing machines, and not on counter attacks from a person with any brain cells left. He aimlessly sought the camp to see if he could see Chris, but he couldn't. Maybe he was sleeping still because there were not a whole lot of people moving about, he turned his head and looked at the file once more, to make sure he was looking for the right person.

A couple of hours of unpleasant camping out Jake finally saw his target. This would have been so much easier if he had been able to just sneak in and kill him and get out, not caring if anyone saw him. Jake followed him with the scope, the Target waved at someone, and Jake almost took the shot when Chris came into the scope's vision. "Shit." he bit his lip, watching his target interact with Chris who apparently reported back, cause he was standing around for what seemed like bloody hours.

Finally he left, and there was a clear shot, Jake's gloves creaked in the complete silence when he slowly pulled the trigger, his target went down like someone just pulled the strings from a marionette. And Jake crawled backwards as the alarm sounded. He sprinted down the hill, leaving the folder and the rifle he couldn't be caught with either. He had already made a story if he was caught, then he was here for Chris. He hadn't quite worked out his lie for knowing where Chris would be, but he'd come up with something if he had to. He tossed himself on his bike and sped off, he didn't slow down before he couldn't hear men yelling or the camp alarm anymore.

He had done it, it was over and he had come away clean.

He didn't turn on his phone until he was back at the hotel. There were two calls from Sherry and four texts from Chris. He went to the same diner where he played the piano yesterday, sitting down at a table by the window, shit like this always made him paranoid. He ordered a large portion of whatever they had, and a beer from the smiling waitress. He looked at the messages, mainly sweet reminders of how Chris wished he was back in Belgrade; he even called him babe in the last. He decided to text him back both because he really needed to, and because it would help his cover up. So he texted, 'hey babe, left without getting my phone charged. Didn't see your messages till now. I am at the diner we were eating at last night, think they have the same special.' he hit send, and felt bad that Chris was probably running up and down those hills trying to find the sniper, or maybe they already found his gear?

He smiled sweetly at the waitress as she placed the bowl in front of him. She went away and he called up Koryavin, "It's done." He just said.

"I will arrange your payment as soon as I hear from my mole," The contact said.

"Fair enough, just don't wait for too long." Jake said with a badly hidden threat in his tone and then hung up. Chris still hadn't texted him back.

Digging into his food Jake tried to push all dark thought away, it was over and done and soon he would hopefully have a bunch of money, maybe he should ask Chris to take a couple of days off and they could go somewhere just the two of them, that would be nice. He entertained himself with fantasies about where they could go, maybe to the mountains or something where there'd be no one else around for miles. They'd never make it to the summit, they'd fuck at the foot of the mountain and never get further. That thought both amused him and warmed him. He missed Chris.

The phone chimed and he couldn't help but to be slightly disappointed that it was Sherry. He put down his spoon and picked up. "Hey Supergirl, is America still standing?" He said looking out the dirty diner front window on the street, people walking past.

"Have you heard from Chris?" Sherry asked, "I can't raise him, and Claire heard there had been some sort of terrorist act, the entire Belgrade office is closed down."

"I haven't." Jake said wishing he could tell her that Chris was just fine.

"If you hear from him, would you get back to me? Claire is really worried, and so am I." Sherry said, "She said he had been acting weird lately, do you think he has been acting like he wasn't himself? I mean I know you don't know him that well. But still."

"He seems pretty normal to me." Jake said, "He's still a mountain of jerk." He grinned a little to let Sherry know he was joking.

"That's not what I meant," Sherry chuckled a little at Jake's silly comment. "Seriously Jake, Claire is worried that he might have started drinking again, and I just wondered if it was something you would have noticed."

"Err.. " Jake was a little confused, "Drinking? No not that I know of." Jake smacked his lips, "Chris has a drinking problem?"

Sherry went silent in the other end, "Forget I said that, if he wanted you to know, I suppose he would have told you." She paused, "I mean I know he went to find you cause I asked him to, I sorta.. Eh, sorta thought you could both do with a friend."

"So you played matchmaker, I get it." Jake said, "It's fine Sherry, really. Maybe you were right, that's all."

"I was?" Sherry asked surprised and then chuckled, "So you guys meet?"

"Every now and then we have dinner and talk about the weather and you." He smiled, knowing she probably wouldn't believe it.

"Smart ass." Sherry shot back.

"So tell me, why are you worried that he started to drink?" Jake said rolling his eyes he added, "Jesus Christ Sherry this is not something two guys talk about, we don't sit about having cafe latté and talk feelings and interior design."

"Okay," Sherry sighed, "When Jill was presumed dead, Chris went under the radar and drowned himself in alcohol. It apparently took the B.S.A.A. A very long time to track him down."

"Something happened to this Jill?" Jake asked, not sure he liked the sour taste of jealousy in his mouth, even if he had no goddamn clue who she was.

"No she's fine." Sherry said, "I don't really know how to tell you this, maybe I shouldn't.. It's pretty personal, and maybe something he ought to -"

"Spill it." Jake said holding his breath, not sure if he really wanted to hear it, there was just something in Sherry's voice that told him it was serious and bad.

"Piers," Sherry finally said in a defeated tone, "Claire have been waiting for him to react to his death, and then lately he has been sounding really strange, like he had bizarre mood swings. That's why."

He had heard that name before, it didn't really ring a bell. But Jake didn't have to say anything, Shelly took pity on his silence, "You met him, actually he wanted to shoot you."

"That other guy at the underwater facility?" Jake asked in a whisper, "The pup was his - his lover?"

"Yes." Sherry sighed sadly. "It must have been horribly traumatic for him the way he died and he had just buried him when he chose to leave for Edonia again – well that was a part of why I thought it was good he found someone to talk to, someone that didn't talk about 'that', if you get me."

"I get it." Jake said, his appetite gone and he pushed the offending bowl away for the waitress to take.

"You're not gonna make me regret telling you this, are you?" Sherry asked a little worried. "I mean it's our secret right? Claire says that he doesn't want Jill to know, so you won't tell anyone -"

"Don't worry, cupcake," Jake smiled the fakest of all fake smiles, "You know me, I don't care what rocks Redfield's boat, as long as _I_ don't have to hug him."

"Good," Sherry let out a relieved sound, "You'd still let me know if you hear from him right?"

"Sure thing Supergirl." Jake said, "Take care."

"You too." Sherry reluctantly hung up, and Jake just clapped the phone shut, sitting with it against his cheek for long minutes staring out into nothing. Jill, Piers, what the.. he didn't even know what to make of it, but what he knew was that he thought they had something special, a terrible truth dawned on him – what if Chris would go home to Jill when he left Edonia? Because he would eventually, of course he would. Jake let out a pained stuttering breath, close to a silent sob without any other signs of his distress than his fingers white from clutching the phone, and his lip quivering. This was why he didn't let people in, this was why he had never wanted to fall in love. Maybe he should just wait around for his payment and then leave, as in leave for real, go somewhere where Chris or the B.S.A.A. Would never find him. It had never been real, he had to repeat that to himself, it had never been real. All the things he had dared to dream it was just that, dreams. His own silly romantic daydreams that he had allowed himself to believe in for a split-second, just to have it all taken.

"Did you not like the food?" The waitress asked softly as she took the almost full bowl.

"It was fine." He said without looking at her. "Give me a bottle of whatever booze you have, I'll be taking it with me."

"I don't think that -"

"Just do it!" He suddenly slammed his hand down into the table, scaring the waitress, "I don't care what it costs, just give it to me." He added a little less aggressive.

"Just a second." The waitress excused herself and left.

There'd be no mountain trip, no walking somewhere hand in hand. No nothing, all those sweet words, all just for.. Jake wasn't exactly sure what Chris' game was, but unlike any other time someone had tricked him, he didn't want to put a bullet through his brain, not yet at least. He mostly just wanted to hide and never be found.

"I'm sorry but it's pretty expens -"

"I said I don't care." Jake finally looked up at the waitress and snatched the bottle as he stood, pushing some money against her shoulder as he passed her, fleeing the diner. Suddenly he wished that Chris knew that he was the one that had shot his commanding officer, that way he would never have to deal with him again.

He unscrewed the lid and had already finished one third of the bottle as he made it back to the hotel. There was no one around, so he went into the lounge where there stood this old brown piano. He had stayed at this hotel a lot and had never actually seen anyone use this lounge, so he placed the bottle on the top and sat down, not really playing, more like just letting his fingers run over the cold tangents, it calmed him. "Jake my friend," He said to himself, reaching for the bottle, "You're a fucking idiot." In an insane moment he missed his mother terribly, and wanted nothing but to have her to lean up against and she'd stroke his cheek telling him not to be sad.

At some point he had fallen asleep on the piano, and woke when the front desk clerk gently shook his shoulder and asked him if he wouldn't be more comfortable in his bed. Jake mumbled something and left for his room, the bottle was empty so he left it on the piano. He fell into his bed vaguely noting that housecleaning had been there and his bed didn't smell like Chris' aftershave anymore, but of storage and industrial bleach.

When he woke hours later his head was pounding fiercely. He rolled over and groaned, the pressure in his chest had not gone away, and he had a feeling that it would be very long before that dulled. "Suck it up, man." He told himself, and sat up in bed with a labored huff. He saw his phone blinked with unread messages, the sweet thrill was exchanged for something that resembled timidness when he picked up the phone and checked the messages, he didn't want to read them, he didn't know if he was that good an actor that he could just pretend that Sherry had never told him anything. There was a couple of messages from Chris, first one read 'all sorts of crazy shit happened, so Ima be home two days early,' the next read 'back in Belgrade, where are you?' and the last message just said 'Jake?'

Jake didn't know what the hell to do with this, he had thought it would be the start of something great when Chris came back and he got his money from Koryavin, but it wasn't. It was the beginning of the end, and he knew it. There was no way he could hide this from Chris. He felt mostly like a cheap whore, or those mail order brides when he had to admit that somewhere deep inside he just wanted to see Chris and wrap up inside him till he forgot all this sadness, that Chris could make it go away for a little while with soft words and firm hands. He finally texted 'Hung-over.' and flipped the phone shut, getting out of his clothes to take a bath.

He rested his throbbing head against the tile wall trying to collect his thoughts. Why did he have this unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach? What the hell had he done in his stupor? Apart of feeling ridiculously sorry for himself, he remember that he had felt like the sky had caved in, but he couldn't really remember why. Ah yes it was of course the whole Jill thing, Jake chuckled, why the hell had that been such a big deal?

He turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, okay so maybe he had some issues with trusting that Chris really liked him, but what the hell was up with the whole lost lover thing? Jake shook his head amused over himself as he pulled his pants back on. Chris had not told him about the pup or the woman because it was not important, that was it. He remembered the short fella behind the desk waking him, but as far as he recalled he hadn't talked to him, so that was good. Maybe he should lay off the booze when he was pumped full of adrenaline and insecurities. "Get a fucking hold of yourself man." He said out into the room, pulling his shirt over his head. A text message chimed. He flipped the phone up to see who it was, Chris had texted him 'Hungry? Meet me in the diner from the other day in twenty.' - And as was it an answer, Jake's stomach growled.


	5. Chapter 5

Jake was already there when Chris arrived, and he wanted nothing more than to bury Jake in a hug, he had only been gone a few days, but he had missed the other man. He had, even if he kept reminding himself that it was slightly crazy, but none of this made sense really. "Hey." He just said, leaning against the diner desk next to Jake, smiling.

"Hey!" Jake was wearing shades which made Chris laugh. "That bad huh?"

Jake just nodded careful not to shake his head too much. "Yeah."

"Went to a party?" Chris asked while pointing to the food that he wanted, language barrier and all.

"No," Jake just stated. "Just a drink that became a hundred."

Chris laughed, "That happens."

"It does." Jake smiled, "Must have been something to send you all home days early." he said casually testing waters, not sure how much Chris wanted to say about it.

"Yeah someone shot Tyler Jones, the commanding officer on the mission." Chris shrugged, "All very strange,"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, that was it, it just doesn't make sense, that's all. No one tried to access our database or steal weapons or bust the - " He stopped himself and just smiled at his food that arrived. "I shouldn't even be telling you this."

"I'm just glad you're okay." Jake said with a little smile, taking his own food and made towards a table. "I've been thinking, don't you have some downtime soon?"

"Maybe."

"Uhm.. Yeah I wondered if you wanted to go see the mountains," His voice became a whisper. "With me - "

Chris' smile started sweet and then became devious. "Sounds good," he said in a husky tone.

"Great." Jake nodded and poked his food.

"Talked to my sister earlier, and what do you know, they have like a goddamn blizzard over there – seems kinda weird doesn't it?" Chris said, knowing he was talking to himself mostly, he had gotten used to Jake not being the most talkative person in the world.

"Why's that?" Jake asked, reaching for his glass of water, "I mean why is that funny?"

"We're here close to Russia, yanno bears and snow and all that – and it's not.. Oh well, maybe it's not really funny." Chris smiled goofy, feeling like a giant idiot.

Jake raised a brow, "Really Chris?"

Chris stared to laugh, "I tried."

"Small talk is not your strongest feature." Jake snickered, and then took off his glasses and hung them from the neck of his shirt, "So what's the plan for the day?"

"Nothing." Chris' ears heated up as they both knew what Jake was hinting at. "I have to report back at twenty. But till then – I'll leave the planning up to you."

Jake smiled, "Done eating?"

"Yup."

"Let's go."

Both men got up and slipped as discretely as they could from the diner, walking to Jake's hotel room.

"Goddamn!" Chris gasped and laughed as they stepped into the hotel room.

Jake said nothing, he just went directly to open the windows letting the stale bad air out. "Apparently housekeeping didn't make it here," He mumbled leaning out the window to inhale the crisp early winter air.

Chris walked up behind Jake and leaned in over him, looking out the window as well, "I never saw the city like this, well let's just say I have there has never been a time when I was not running for my life when at this altitude." He slipped down to lean on the windowsill, "It's beautiful."

"You're always running for your life Chris." Jake snickered, "Doesn't matter if you are ten stories above or below ground level."

"Yeah I admit that I'm doing a whole lot of that."

"When you're not playing a hero." Jake said, not even sure he wanted to finish that sentence, he knew where it led, and did he really want to have this conversation, and where was his earlier resolve about just letting it go because it wasn't important what had been before. "Like in the underwater facility, Haos and all that." His voice fell to a near whisper, and then tried to soften the implications in his tone with, "That was a pretty stupid thing you and that pup did."

"It made sense at the time." Chris said softly he smiled sadly at the Belgrade skyline, not looking at Jake. "comes with the uniform I guess."

"See that tower there?" Jake said and pointed towards a tall tower that was still intact, "It's a church, I mean I don't know if you're a churchgoing fella, but in case you are – then maybe.."

"I guess I'm not, I mean I have no time for things like that." Chris smiled.

"I used to take my mother there when she was in no shape to go by herself." Jake said softly.

"Maybe I should go there to empty my head someday." Chris mused, "I could do with a little peace now and then."

"Really?" Jake pushed Chris shoulder with his own, "You'd rather be benched in church than here with me?"

"No.. That's not what I meant." Chris turned his head and looked at Jake, "You know what I mean you - "

"I know." Jake said, "But you know what else is good for clearing your mind? I'll give you one guess." He pulled on Chris' waist.

"Sure that it's not just complicating things?" Chris said honestly.

"I don't know. Is it?" Jake stopped pulling and looked up at Chris with a serious expression, he struggled against all that he was, but found that he really needed to know. He would hate himself for ever if he didn't kill that last inkling of fear that this was not what he thought. "Is it Chris?" He asked again.

"Maybe." Chris squirmed, clearly not wanting to have this discussion, and most definitely not with Jake's finger's holding on to his pant waist, rubbing against his skin as he moved. "Just leave it be Jake." He smiled, "Enjoy the moment."

Jake who had always been a 'in the moment' kind of guy, found that he couldn't, this once he couldn't just enjoy the moment, question was if he should tell Chris or not. Jake bit his lip and pulled his hands back. "Okay," He just said trying to sound like he didn't care, tried to will his voice into the arrogant tone it usually had, but even he could hear he failed miserably.

"Hey, Jake," Chris reached out and rested his hand on Jake's cheek, "You've been acting weird all day, what is wrong? And if you say nothing, I will tickle it out of you." He smiled trying to make light of the dark mood that settled between them.

"I don't know." Jake deflected the question, willing himself not to lean into the touch. Chris leaned in and kissed him softly, "alright," He mumbled against Jake's lips. Jake relaxed against Chris, wishing that this weird feeling of impending doom would go away, and annoyed with himself that he would even be feeling like this.

In the end Jake gave in and wrapped his arms around Chris' neck, "Just overthinking things, it doesn't matter." He smiled and kissed Chris back, hoping it would be the end of that talk.

"That is what we soldiers do when we have too much downtime." Chris mumbled kissing a trail up Jake's neck and jaw, "You can tell me these things, you know."

Jake let his head fall back a little enjoying the attention, he didn't answer because he had no answer. He wished he trusted Chris enough to tell him everything, and funny he found it harder to admit that he had fallen in love, than admit to shooting his c.o.

The strange melancholy feeling wouldn't leave Jake, even when he was naked in bed with Chris, it felt like Chris' hands were softer, gentler. Different. "Where are you?" Chris whispered, nudging Jake's cheek with his nose.

Jake closed his eyes, and just let out a long sigh as Chris slowly pushed inside him, calling every nerve in Jake's body to attention. "Jake," Chris mumbled, "Come back here to me." he bit Jake's ear playfully.

Jake grabbed the sheets and ground his teeth, oh God he loved the feeling of Chris, the sound of his voice hoarse and horny. "I am." Jake whispered, gasping as Chris pulled out and thrust in again. "Mmmm I am, I." Chris grabbed his left calf and twisted him halfway around, entering him from a different angle. "Right fucking here," Jake moaned out loud, surprised that it made it past his lips.

"No you aren't" Chris panted.

"Chris, come on." Jake protested while arching his back to feel more of Chris.

Chris' smile was somewhere between confused and sad, he stopped moving. And instead he kissed Jake's calf, running his hand down the slim muscular thigh, all the way down to where they were joined. "Jake," Chris said softly, catching his breath. "I need you to be here with me," He smiled down at Jake who's eyes were still shut but a soft smile tugged in the corners of his mouth. "It's crazy, I know – but."

"Don't," Jake hissed inhaling sharply through his teeth. He opened his eyes and looked up at Chris, sweaty and short of breath. He was absolutely fucking gorgeous like this, and Jake suspected that he knew. "Not now.."

Chris' smile fell "No." He said in a sad but firm tone, running his hand up Jake's leg once more, and then gently moving back, pulling out and sat back on the mattress just shaking his head.

Jake rolled over on his back with a low growl. "Fuck,"

"I'm sorry," Chris said softly, "I just can't.. I mean, I want to have you here with me, and not acting like a dead - "

"Suppose you wanna talk about it or something," Jake spat angrily, cutting off Chris' apology.

"If you want to," Chris said sliding his legs unto the floor, rolling the condom off and tossing it to the waste bin, "Or you could stop lying there with a blank expression, ass in the air like you're doing me a fucking favor." He argued, turning his back to Jake on the bed.

"I wasn't." Jake said softer than before, "- Doing you any favors." He slung his arm over his eyes and took a deep breath. "I didn't mean that, I just -"

Chris took a deep breath and instead of just getting up and getting dressed, he laid down next to Jake, placing a warm hand on the cooling sweat on Jake's stomach. "Hey what's wrong?"

Jake battled with himself for a minute, he should just bite off Chris now and that would end it, end them. It would solve a lot of his problems wouldn't it? He would most definitely feel like himself again that was for sure. But did he really want that? And how could he defend not even trying? What if he had a shot at the real deal and it was just his own stupid insecurities that would stop him. He licked his lips, not ready to look at Chris just yet. "You are what's wrong." He whispered.

"Oh?" Chris sucked in his breath, he had not seen that coming by a long shot. "How so?"

Jake took a deep breath, "I think I am falling in love with you." He finally managed to whisper, feeling an unpleasant surge of embarrassment settle in the pit of his stomach. He had never admitted something like this before, and it made him feel naked and defenseless, a feelings that most definitely didn't go over well.

Chris let out a little chuckle, "Is that it? Is that why you are acting all weird?" he pulled closer to Jake snuggling up against him. "But that is a good thing."

"No it's not." Jake answered pitifully, not sure if Chris made fun of him or not. "It's like Pandora's box."

"Would it help if I told you that I am crazy about you?" Chris whispered.

Jake finally lifted his arm from his eyes, blinking as he focused on Chris, "I want to believe you, I really do."

"I sense a but?"

"What when you go back to America? Back to your life and your friends. Which I know you will eventually." Jake asked, knowing he was being slightly childish, but the thought alone made him knot up painfully inside.

"Simple." Chris smiled, "You come with me." When Jake didn't say anything, Chris just laughed softly, kissing Jake's shoulder, "Is that what is bothering you?"

"I suppose." Jake said offering a little smile, he wasn't about to tell Chris that he never tried anything like this. And he didn't know what to think, but he really wanted to believe Chris and kill all his little fears off. But if this really was true, did he want to start it out with lies? He really had no choice in the matter, cause once Chris saw him for the man he was, the soft smile would be replaced with a frown, and his amused gaze would be replaced with something equally intense, but far more deadly. And would he be ready to hurt Chris if he had to? Jake wasn't so sure.

Chris' phone rang, and he groaned, "I better pick up, don't move." He rolled over in bed and searched his pants for the origin of the insistent ringing.

Jake stared at the ceiling and listened to Chris' 'yes sir', and 'right away sir'. Until he rolled over again and kissed Jake softly on his shoulder again, up his neck till he made contact with Jake's lips. "I gotta go." Chris mumbled, "Could we pick up later?"

"Of course." Jake said with a smile against Chris' lips.

"Great. See you later." Chris kissed Jake one last time and slid off the bed to get dressed.

Jake looked over at the clock, "I didn't think your briefing would be for another three hours." He stated turning his attention back to Chris who got dressed.

"Me neither, but apparently they had a breakthrough and it's super important." Chris sighed, "So much for my day off." He grinned, apologetic down at the naked Jake. "Are you gonna stay like that till I come back?" He taunted leaning down over the bed to kiss Jake once more.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Jake grinned.

"Actually, yes, yes I would." Chris ran a hand up Jake's thigh and up over his hipbone. "But I think I'd have a hard time focusing at the briefing, knowing you'd be here naked."

"I promise I'll get dressed -" Jake laughed, "Eventually." He pulled Chris down for a kiss, "Now fuck off soldierboy." He squirmed as Chris poked him in his ribs.

"Fuck you too." Chris grinned, biting Jake's lip playfully before he got off the bed. "Alright, duty calls.. I'll come back when it's over."

"Sure."

The door closed behind Chris, and Jake went back to staring up in the ceiling. A surprise briefing, this couldn't be good. But he had been careful, no prints or anything. He had left the rifle behind and the file, sure. But there was nothing there to tie it back to him, was there? No he was not a goddamn amateur, he wouldn't make mistakes like that.

He got off the bed and pulled his pants back on, picking up his shirt, when someone knocked on his door. Hard urgent knocks. He opened the door, hoping it would be Chris, but instead it was Mr. Koryavin and two other men. "Mr. Koryavin I thought you'd call -" He didn't get a chance to say more before the trio pushed past him and went into his room.

"Avel, give him the bag." Koryavin barked, and one of the goons tossed a black bag on the bed.

Jake looked at the bag, and then up at the intruders. He pulled the shirt over his head, and crossed his arms, "Are you gonna tell me what this is about?"

"It's the rest of your payment." Koryavin said calmly, "And a semiautomatic rifle."

"Oh?" Jake scratched the back of his hand, "Why the rifle?"

"Mr. Muller, remember I told you I had a mole?" Koryavin said, "He was exposed, and I am afraid he talked."

Jake opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. So that was the emergency? He suddenly felt all warm and cold at the same time. "Do we know what he told them?" He asked calmly, hoping his voice would stay even.

"As far as we know, everything." Koryavin shrugged, "So I would advise you to get out of town and lay low for a while." One of the goons leaned in and whispered something to Koryavin, "Alright, we have to go – good luck Mr. Muller."

"Thank you." Jake said, still standing in his spot staring at the offending bag on his bed long after the others left.

What should he do? Should he just pack up and run? Or should he let the B.S.A.A capture him? Maybe Chris would believe that he had only taken this job so he could.. could...what was it he could? Spend money on Chris? Lay low? Take a plane to the US? He didn't know anymore, and he wasn't so sure it mattered. Chris might have told him that he was crazy about him, but he was quite sure that Chris was married to the B.S.S.A.

In the end Jake just sat down on his bed, his bags packed ready to go on the bike, still debating with himself if he should leave or not. The little voice that whispered that Chris had said he would be back later, and that he was head over heels wouldn't shut up. What if he ruined it all by running? But he didn't want to see loathing in Chris' eyes either. As the clock made it to midnight he could only assume that either Chris hadn't told the B.S.A.A. Where he was, or the mole hadn't given him away. But if that was so, Jake knew that Chris either would have come over, called or sent a text like he always did. He had never stood him up like this. Jake finally flipped his phone open and looked at the messages, it was old messages from Chris, old appointments laced with a promise of pleasure.

His thumb hovered over the reply button, but what would he say? Nothing that was what. What the hell was wrong with him? How the hell had Chris Redfield twisted his head around like this? This was why he didn't want to get involved in other people. He should leave, his vain arguments that Chris would of course believe him, where just that. Stupid and vain! Of course he wouldn't, and did it matter?

Yeah he should leave and text Chris once he made it over the border. Jake grabbed the bags and took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders as he left the hotel room. It would have been nice, it had been a nice fantasy, so nice that he was actually reluctant to leave it behind. But it was time to wake up.

He half expected Chris to come down the dark street, as he stood and prepped his bike. God how he wished this strange heavy feeling would leave him. He had been right in his somber mood, the end had been impending, and seriously how the hell had he thought he could get away with it? He focused on the notes dancing in his head. He smiled sadly, "Hayden," He said to the dark and his bike, "44 in e minor." He shook his head amused over himself while he got on his bike and then sped off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the delay, I both run the ME BB, and also participated as a writer, plus I have finals. But all that crap aside I need someone to tell me if I should go with my original unhappy end, or should we just go with the happy end I sorta maybe made possible. lol.. anyway lemme know =)**

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6.

Jake did not stop until he made it across the border, at least while driving he had to keep his mind occupied with that. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, but he wasn't sure he wanted to look.

When he finally stopped, he slid off the bike exhausted to the bone. He would just rest for a little while, dragging himself to the rickety looking door which was under the 'inn' sign. He felt like he could sleep for a week straight.

He let himself fall onto the bed and closed his eyes. He wasn't even bothered with getting his boots or jacket off. His phone chimed with a message again, he considered ignoring it, but in the end he pulled it from his pocket and flipped it open, there was a call and a message from Sherry. He didn't know if he was relieved that they weren't from Chris. He opened the message from Sherry and her message just said 'what did you do, Jake?' He let out a tired huff, at least now he knew that Chris knew. He would just have to deal with this in the morning, his arms and eyelids were heavy as lead.

Yeah this was good, this was right. He didn't have friends, and he didn't have lovers. He was by himself like he preferred it; he had been doing alright before they came along with all their... niceness.

Jake woke when the sun was high on the sky; his best estimate was that he had slept for ten hours. He sat up and stretched his back, his stomach growled. Jake scratched his cheek, goddamn he needed to shave.

He decided that everything had to wait till he had some food and so he went downstairs to the inn and ordered something to eat. He sat in a ray of sun and slowly ate what was on his plate, his thoughts circling what he should say to Chris and Sherry, if he should say anything at all. In the end he leaned back in his chair, sipping coffee and flipping his phone open, still nothing from Chris. Not surprising really, after all what was there to say? He looked out unto the main street of the little village, watching people, couples, parents, children pass by. He owed it to them both to say goodbye, if nothing else he owed it to himself so he could put it behind him. He bit his lip and opened Sherry's message, clicking the answer arrow. He slowly typed, _'thank you for being a friend, I did not deserve your trust – be safe supergirl'_. And then he clicked send.

Chris was harder, Sherry called back right away and Jake declined her call. He clicked to answer the last message from Chris, and typed, '_At least it's not complicated anymore. I wish I didn't miss you. Be safe Chris and you deserve so much more than this.'_ - he clicked send and promptly turned the phone and pulled the back off, plucked out the card and put the dismantled phone back into his pocket. The sim-card lay in his hand. He finished his coffee and waited for the calm he thought he would feel, but he felt just as miserable as before. "Dammit," He finally whispered to himself and got up and dropped the sim-card in the waste bin on his way up to his room to pack so he could move on.

SIX MONTHS LATER.

Chris was not really happy about having Sherry Birkin here, not that he minded her personally she was a sweet girl and all, but he was a little worried what D.S.O was doing on a mission that ought to be routine. Which it apparently wasn't or the D.S.O wouldn't be here, but Sherry was a wall of silence when he had asked. Of course she was – Government business and all. But on a much more personal level she reminded him of Jake, not that they ever spoke about him, he was that one subject that none of them touched on, he didn't think that she knew what had gone on between them, cause then she probably wouldn't have asked so much into Jill.

At first Chris had been in denial, refusing to believe that Jake had shot Tyler Jones, but when they found the sniper nest and ran fingerprint analysis on it, he couldn't run from it being Jake, because they had found Chris' on it, so he had literally touched the bag that had had Tyler's death sentence in it. The B.S.A.A had put a lid on it and had re-stationed Chris elsewhere in the same region waiting for the drama to blow over. He was quite sure that both Claire and Jill had done their fair share of lobbying, and probably Leon as well, because he had gotten off with a slap on the wrist.

He couldn't even be angry at Jake, he remembered their last night together and how weighed down he had been, at the time it didn't make sense to Chris, but now it did. He would like to believe that Jake knew that he would be found out at some point, and that this would happen. What Chris didn't understand was why he had done it. Why would he bite the hand that fed him? Both the D.S.O and the B.S.A.A had stated a worldwide standing arrest order on him for sabotage. Chris was quite sure that no one connected the dots, maybe except Claire, he could hear it in her voice, but he had had a perfect excuse for his fingerprints on that bag since Sherry had asked him to look up Jake. And maybe that was why he was now riding in a jeep with Sherry; he didn't know all this shit was way over his security level, even if he was the one living it.

"So what do we know about this place?" Sherry asked flipping through files on her PDA, "They manufacture a component to mass produce the c-virus, that's basically what we know right?"

"Pretty much." Chris sighed, "So we're destroying the entire facility just to be sure?"

"Yup." Sherry smiled prettily, "We have air support that can be here ten minutes after we turn on the beacon."

"Great," Chris allowed himself to smile back to her, "This should be over pretty fast then."

The Jeep stopped, and Chris double-checked his gear, so their mission parameter was to hopefully find some proof from this lab and then place the beacon for the air support, bombing the fuck out of this place. Check. "You got the beacon?" He asked Sherry, and she nodded, "It would be best if we can get a live viral sample," she said, but if we can't then files are as good as it gets, she handed Chris a small device, "In case we get separated, and you find a computer with something interesting on it, you can download it to this." Chris nodded and pocketed the device before he jumped out of the jeep.

Sherry, Chris and two soldiers had made it deep into the facility, they could hear fighting on top, but they figured it would be over pretty fast, the security at this place had been flimsy at best, not thinking that anyone would actually ever locate it. Chris leaned on over a computer, "Hey Sherry, check this out." He called, "Here are some files on subject 1 to 10, he clicked another file and a 3d vision of a man whirled on the screen, "Looks like the subjects are people." Sherry whispered, "Oh my God,"

"We have to find them and save them, or.." Chris took a deep breath, "Put them out of their misery." But where he had imagined an argument with Sherry, she just nodded. Chris waited as Sherry downloaded the files on her computer, and then he put a bullet through the machine. "So does it say where we should look?"

"No," Sherry sighed, "But it does mention sublevel 3, but that could just be where the tests were run."

"Good a start as any." Chris shrugged as they made their way down.

"Redfield, Sir." One of the soldiers said, "I think this might be something." He pointed at a door with a biohazard sign on it, but there were no hazmat suits, so it was not so much the area as what was in it that was dangerous. "I'm gonna open it," Chris announced, "You two, do a sweep of the lab here," He nodded at the soldiers who took off looking for scientists who may still be hiding. Chris short-circuited the control panel for the door, and it opened with a tired swoosh, the long hall was dark, and he looked over his shoulder at Sherry who nodded for him to go on. And right enough as he shone his flashlight on the first door it said '1', and he peeked inside the window in the door, seeing something hanging there, "How the hell do we open these doors?" Chris asked, "There have to be some way, some master control panel or whatever."

"Or you could try the handle," Sherry grinned behind him.

Chris groaned and pushed the door which to his surprise opened. He turned his flashlight on what had once been a man, now it was something bizarre that he could only be refeedr to as nightmare fuel. "Hold the light on his head," He said to Sherry, and then he took aim, and shot the poor bastard right through the brain. The machine that the test subject was connected to stopped its slow beeps and flat lined. "Bastards." Chris growled, "What the hell were they doing down here? This is not a goddamn component,"

"Technically it could be, maybe they are trying to find a more efficient way to give the virus to people." Sherry said as they made their way down the hall, stopping at door number two and doing for her what they had done for test subject number 1.

"That makes no sense," Chris argued, "So what if they can mass-produce the virus, it's still out of control."

"Maybe control is not what is important?" Sherry suggested, "Maybe they just want to sort the sheep so to say."

"Maybe." Chris sighed tired, "Do we know who these test subjects were?"

"According to this, they are convicts who were sentenced to death," She shuttered, "What a way to go, no matter what."

"Yeah," Chris mumbled and made his way to room number 3, he lifted his rifle, and Sherry aimed the light cone on the face of the test subject. "Holy mother of.." Chris gasped, realizing that this test subject was not a mutated mass of muscle, teeth and claw. "Wait!" Sherry yelled as if Chris had not seen that the test subject was not like the others.

"Keep the light on him," Chris said shouldering his rifle and with an odd sinking feeling he walked all the way over to the limp person dangling in the middle of the room, "Is he alive?" Chris asked stupidly as he could clearly hear the vague beeps from the machine. He gently lifted test subject 3's head, paling ghostly white as he did. "Jake?" He whispered, "Oh my God, Jake.." Chris fervently touched Jake's ashen face, "Jake? Jake?" He forgot all about Sherry standing behind him, "Wake up Jake!" He whispered urgently.

"Dear God!" Sherry gasped, "Let's get him out of that thing."

"Yeah, yeah good idea," Chris mumbled helping Sherry undo the restraints that kept Jake on a vertical gurney of a sorts, and once the last restraint was gone, he fell into Chris' arms like a bundle of bones. Chris swung the naked lifeless man around his shoulders to carry the weight most efficiently, "I am gonna take him to the surface." Chris said with the best pokerfaced he ever pulled off in his life, ignoring Sherry's questioning gaze. "We can rendezvous with the rest of the team and you can finish sweeping the test subjects."

"Alright," Sherry said, and then placed a hand on Jake's head, "Poor Jake." She smiled at Chris, "Go, I can find the team on my own."

"Okay," Chris nodded and started to backtrack to the surface. Carrying the frightfully skinny Jake as his precious cargo. Oddly detached to the fact that the skin and bones burning with something that Chris could only guess was fever, was the same body that had given him such pleasure, "What the hell are you doing here?" Chris whispered, "You probably volunteered you crazy bastard." he grinned at his own unfunny comment, but didn't quite know what to do about this situation. He could feel a tiny fragment of panic nestled inside, what if Jake was really hurt? What if he didn't wake up? And would he in reality preferred it if the D.S.O took over Jake as their prisoner, so he wouldn't have to deal with all the conflicting emotions there would be. But on the other hand then the last thing he wanted was to hand Jake off to someone else.

Once topside Chris gently eased Jake down on another gurney. "We have to get him back to base." Chris barked at one of the drivers, "He needs urgent medical attention."

"Holy fuck!" The driver scrambled to his seat. Turning in it he looked at Chris, "Are you coming too sir?"

Chris nodded and jumped into the truck, Jake was a high priority prisoner after all, only fair that he came with him.

The jeep rumbled down the road, and for the first time Chris noted that Jake's breathing sped up and his brows knitted in pain. "Hey Jake," Chris said softly, placing a hand on Jake's chest. Jake let out a little pitiful mewl, he just sounded broken and in pain. Chris leaned in over Jake's side and whispered in his ear, "You're gonna be okay Jake, just hang in there."

Jake's lips parted, "Stop."

Chris blinked confused, "Stop what?"

Jake whined in something near a tired sob, but Chris didn't understand it, so he just pulled off his glove and placed his hand on Jake's burning forehead and hushed him. "Step on it!" Chris yelled at the driver.

Once they made it to the base, Jake was whisked off to the medical barrack, and Chris went to write up his report, he was tempted to call Claire but wasn't sure what to tell her. Maybe he should just man up and write this report and leave it at that, let Sherry deal with Jake.

As if summoned a cup of coffee was placed on his right side, he turned around and looked at Sherry who smiling, held up her own cup, "There's a splash of whiskey in it, thought you'd want that."

"You are an angel." Chris smiled, "So did everything else go according to plan?" He asked.

"Yup, there was nothing more of interest apart from some tissue samples, and now we just have to read through the files and figure out exactly what it was they were doing out there." Sherry bit her lip, "And most important we have to find out if they found Jake because they knew exactly where to look and who he is, or if they just lucked out."

"You think there's a security breach?" Chris asked, "Wasn't his identity classified?"

"Indeed." Sherry nodded, "So what are you doing?"

"Typing up the report. Waiting for someone to tell me what's gonna happen to Jake." Chris said, not sure he should have said that last part. But it wasn't like Sherry didn't know they were friendly.

"I don't really know what's gonna happen to him, but I know the B.S.A.A will sign him over to us." Her voice dropped a little and her smile disappeared from her face, "We have facilities to hold him."

"Yeah." Chris looked down into his coffee.

"I was on my way to deal with the last paperwork and check in on Jake, before escorting him to where ever they are going to hold him." Sherry said with a sad voice.

"Do you think I could see him before you uhm, take him with you?" Chris asked, he couldn't even look at Sherry, and everything inside him screamed that he shouldn't do this, he shouldn't even ask. He should just – go on.

"Chris,"

"Yeah?"

"Look at me," Sherry beckoned, making Chris turn in his chair, "What is this about? What happened in Belgrade?"

"What makes you think anything happened in Belgrade?" Chris said with a casual shrug, wishing that she'd stop asking, but knowing that she would never have suspected anything if he had just kept his trap shut.

"Because you sorta wanted to shoot him just a year ago. And now you are suddenly asking me to let you see him." Sherry leaned in over the table and looked straight at Chris who squirmed in his chair, "Access to Jake Muller is way over your current security level."

"You're right, it was dumb." Chris said with a disarming smile, taking a sip of his coffee, "Forget I asked."

"Like hell." Sherry stared at Chris angrily. "Spill it."

"We.. we uhm," He looked helplessly at Sherry, "We had an affair, and I don't know what to make of it all, and maybe that's why I need this."

"You had a romantic affair with Jake?" Sherry blinked rapidly, trying to process what Chris had just said. She had honestly never thought that Jake would let anyone closer than her, or well that she had gotten as close as one could get to Jake Muller.

"Yeah," Chris had to look down into his coffee, "I don't need you to tell me it was unprofessional."

"Dude, you totally had sex with Jake." Sherry's grin split her face, "Who would have thought?"

"Hush dammit." Chris gave her a hard glare, "This is between you and me, and don't you dare tell Claire or anyone else."

"Scouts honor." Sherry smiled merrily, her smile faded when she saw the broken expression of Chris. "You were in love." She stated softly.

"I was," Chris said, opening his mouth to say something more, but he closed it again without saying anything.

"I'll see what I can do." Sherry said softly.

Jake was confused and sore when he woke, it took him some time to realize that he was not in the lab room anymore, he was in a bed, he turned his head and looked out the large window to the hall with people milling past, noting the large B.S.A.A logo on the wall. Closing his eyes, he tested an arm by pulling at it, and found it strapped down, not that he was surprised.

They must have registered that he was awake because fifteen minutes later Sherry stood in his room. "Hey, Supergirl." He said with a little tired smile.

"Hey Jake." She said sitting down next to the bed, "You are a giant fucking idiot."

Jake huffed amused, "I know."

"The doctors said that you wouldn't have lasted a week more with that uhm, treatment." Sherry said softly, "Good thing we found you when we did."

"You found me?" Jake asked.

"No, Chris did." Sherry said studying Jake's face for a reaction, and got it when Jake closed his eyes.

"Chris," Jake whispered, "How is he?"

"You can ask him that yourself." Sherry said, "He's right outside that door." she nodded towards the door, "He just didn't want to come in, in case you didn't want to see him."

"Thoughtful."

"So, do you?" Sherry asked, "You and I will have oceans of time while I escort you back to the US."

"No." Jake said winching slightly, he couldn't see what good it would do.

"No?" Sherry said surprised, "Really, Jake?"

"No." Jake turned his head away from Sherry, "I have nothing more to say to either you or him." His words scorched like lava all the way down into his core, but he saw no point in pretending to be friends, he was not their friend he sorta proved that once already.

"You're an asshole." Sherry hissed, and got up from the bed and walked to the door, she opened it and said "You can come in now."

"Alright." Chris said and walked past Sherry in the door, and went to sit at the chair by the side of the bed. "Hey there," He said softly, "I was told you're gonna be fine, even if it was a close call."

Jake said nothing, he still had his head the other way, staring into the wall away from Chris. God he missed that voice.

Chris took a deep breath, "Well you were more dead than alive when I carried you out of there, so I just wanted to check up on you for old times' sake." He sighed and hung his head at the silence that met him. "Alright, I'll get going, take care Jake."

"I had this dream," Jake whispered, "Funny really cause it was you and me, and we were up in some cabin, nothing for miles but snow and forest. No one around to tell us what to do, or where to go. Just us for a small eternity." Jake drew a stuttering breath, "And then I woke."

Chris just sat in silence and looked at Jake's shoulders and neck, remembering how he had snuggled up and kissed the soft skin there. "I have nothing more to do with this you know, my report is written, and you are signed over to D.S.O – Sherry had to pull seven favors so I could see you." Chris laughed a little mirthlessly, "Visiting you is far above my security level."

Jake rolled over to his back, staring up into the ceiling. "While I was stuck in that room I had a lot of time to think things over and dream. I am not sure what was the worst, the corny dreams about Christmas with you, or the realization that it would never be. My point is that I know I fucked it up, and whatever angry words you have can't be harder than the ones I told myself.

"When they pulled me in for interrogation, I insisted that you had to have had a good reason to do what you did." Chris said gingerly placing his hand on Jake's, noting a twitch but he couldn't pull it away because of the strap.

"I'm sorry." Jake whispered, and finally turned his head and looked at Chris. "He offered me a small fortune for that one contract, and I thought that... I was broke and wanted to – Nah it doesn't matter anymore, the hard facts are that I did it, I chose to shoot your superior. So maybe I am just sorry I got caught."

"I'm sorry you got caught too." Chris admitted.

"Why aren't you yelling at me?" Jake asked with childish innocence. He had expected Chris to be angry, betrayed and disappointed, not sad.

"What good would that do?" Chris asked.

"Do you think they'll lock me away forever? I mean my father being -"

"No I don't think they'll keep you for long," Chris said, not sure if he was lying or what, but it wasn't like Jake had actually actively embarked in bioterrorism, so his best guess was that he would either be transferred to a regular prison or that they'd cut some sort of deal with him. "Ehm, maybe you could call me when you land somewhere, if you don't have my number, just ask Sherry for it."

"I remember it." Jake said softly. "Are you absolutely sure you'd want me to call?"

"Yeah." Chris said with a little smile, "I mean after all I'm still your friend if you want me to be."

Jake smiled a fake smile, "Friends."

The empty smile hurt Chris more than he dared admit to himself, but friends were really all he could offer, his trust in Jake had taken a serious blow. But he also wasn't quite ready for this to be goodbye, however selfish that was.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay so what I did was to write my intended ending, (Chris moving on) and decided to write past that, so we get the not happy but also not sad ending. I hope it will work, I for one got super inspired once I realised I could do this (which was originally a plot for a different story) so I will have to change the tags, since the story changed slightly.**

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**7.**

A MONTH LATER

Chris was sitting on the balcony looking out over Washington, smiling as Jill came and sat next to him, beers in her hands. "I don't even remember when we both had down time." She said with a blissful sigh as she leaned back in the chair and opened her beer. "So, what's the plan?"

"Dunno, I'm kinda out of the loop. Is there anything worth seeing at the movies?" Chris asked taking a sip of his beer.

"Hey is that your phone?" Jill asked hearing an insisting beeping.

"I'm not here." Chris smiled lazily at Jill.

"It might be important." Jill said, tempted to ignore the phone as well, but when it started to beep again after a short pause, she got up and went to get it in Chris' pocket.

Chris looked up when Jill came back out and handed him the phone, "It's a collect call from BlueStar correctional facility, I can't really accept that, maybe you should pick up."

Chris felt a strange squirming tense feeling in his chest when he took the phone, "Hello?"

"Chris Redfield?" The operator asked, "There's a collect call waiting from -"

"I accept, just put it though." Chris said, sipping his beer, but feeling less relaxed than before.

"Chris?" Jake asked in the other end.

"Hey Jake," Chris said with a smile down the phone, "Finally got a roof over your head huh?"

"Yeah." Jake sighed, leaning against the snot colored stone wall, he rubbed his neck not sure what to say. "Still don't know for how long."

"Sherry is on your side, she'll lobby for a good deal, you'll see." Chris said.

"I s'pose." Jake sighed.

"Another beer?" Jill asked softly, "Yes please." Chris said with a relieved smile.

"Did I call at a bad time?" Jake asked his voice much softer and sadder than he had wanted it to be.

"Nah." Chris said, "I'm just sitting here watching the sunset over the city, having a beer with Jill."

"Just huh?" Jill teased as she came back and handed Chris the beer. She leaned and spoke loudly for the person in the other end of the line, "I'll let you know, he's high maintenance." and then laughed.

"Oh.. uh.. Maybe I should let you get back to whatever you're doing." Jake mumbled and fiddled with the phone, twirling the cord so hard around his fingers that his tips went white. "Anyway," Jake said with his most indifferent tone, "Don't let the lady wait."

"Yeah, I better not." Chris said still feeling all weird, like this was the strangest conversation he had ever had with anyone in his life.

Jake took a deep breath, "Goodbye, Chris,"

"Talk to you later Jake." Chris said and waited for a second, hesitating like Jake before the connection was cut off.

"Who was that?" Jill asked, "I didn't know you had friends in prison." She laughed softly.

"Well he's more like a friend of a friend." Chris said, not sure she'd actually buy the lie, Jill was usually eerily perceptive. "Alright, so he is the guy who shot Tyler, and you know that I had met up with him cause Claire's friend asked me, remember that kid she and Leon saved.. Yeah her."

"Ah yeah that whole clusterfuck." Jill sighed, "Chris.. No talk of work, remember?"

"I remember." Chris smiled and leaned back in his chair again, shutting off his phone and pocketing it. "You started."

"Okay so maybe I did." Jill shot Chris a sideways glare, "But it stops now."

Chris laughed and held out his beer to toast with Jill. Wasn't this what he always wanted? Him and Jill just doing normal things, drinking beer, enjoying themselves, dating. They never really had time to do this, and now that they had, he had to admit that he loved it. Banishing all nagging doubts about Jake to the back of his mind.

^'^

Jake didn't call Chris again, he just settled into the rather predictable everyday routine in prison. Sherry called him a couple of times, but their conversations had been short and to the point. He was fine with that, at least he would have a clean slate when he got out of here, and most days he could even fool himself into that the whole Belgrade, Chris Redfield thing had been nothing. Just a stupid fling, like any other stupid fling, and as to why he was here then he had needed the money, to have his bike fixed, to rent hotel rooms, maybe get himself a new gun. He most definitely didn't need them to be able to not worry about money for a while, and just follow his heart for once.

He wasn't bitter, after all it was all his own fault. But it didn't take the longing away.

"Hey, Muller, you have a visitor," A guard yelled, buzzing Jake's cell up, Jake stepped out a little confused and looked at the armed guard who stood at his side, "You sure?"

"Positive." The guard said.

"Who is it?" Jake wondered, "Who would visit me here?"

"Some guy, think he's some government fella,"

"Anti-bio terrorism by any chance?" Jake asked, feeling his heart speed up a little, allowing himself to wish it was Chris.

"Yeah that sounds about right." The guard said with a shrug. And as he opened the door to the private visitation rooms, Jake's pulse hammered in his ears, it had to be Chris. Who else would meet him here and ask for privacy? He waited as the guard opened the door and Chris' name was on his lips. But what met him was not the broad frame of Chris, but a lankier blond man. "Who.. What.." Jake turned around and looked at the guard who just closed the door.

"Jake." Leon said pocketing his hands in his pockets, "Sherry must really trust you."

"I remember you." Jake said hesitantly and crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you want?"

"Right to the point. Good." Leon smiled quickly, "Alright I come here with an offer, you can come work for D.S.O and get out of this place, maybe even put those abilities of yours to the test, and use them for something that matters, again."

"Is this your idea of a pep-talk?" Jake asked with a frown, "Why the hell would I wanna work for the American government?"

"Technically you'd work for the president, not the government." Leon said with a tired expression. "Look Jake, you want me to be honest?"

"Yes, please." Jake huffed.

"It was decided that you are a liability, but also an asset. But you are much too dangerous to lose track of, apparently your family ties are not as top-secret as we'd like it to be. So you'd most probably never be safe anywhere." Leon said, "So this is your option unless you want to stay here forever."

"Plague or Cholera, huh?" Jake licked his lips, "So you wanna keep me close just in case? And you do that best with having me on your team?"

"Exactly." Leon nodded.

"What's the pay?" Jake asked, surprised when Leon laughed.

"More than you're used to, but not enough." Leon chuckled. "So are you in, or do we have to dance about it some more?"

Jake smiled, he liked the way Leon thought. "I'm in."

"Great." Leon smacked his lips, "Do you have anything in your cell you need, or can we leave now?"

"Now? They're letting me out just like that?" Jake asked surprised.

"Just like that." Leon said as he walked towards the door at the other side of the room.

"Let's go." Jake gestured for Leon to walk out first. He wasn't sure what to make of this, but he was sure it was his lucky day.

^'^

THREE MONTHS LATER

Jake was in Spain when he got a text from Sherry to call her as soon as he had time. He rubbed his eyes and clapped his computer down, he wasn't bothered with more boring intel as it was. He was super close to being done here, and he was looking forward to his first vacation in forever. He dialed up Sherry who picked up right away. "Hey." He yawned, "What's the emergency, it's like one in the morning here."

"I uhm.. Did you by any chance get an email today?" Sherry asked, "An invitation."

"Eh no, unless you count dating site spam and Viagra adds." Jake laughed, "No, no I didn't get any invitation in my email."

"Maybe they don't know how to reach you." Sherry said, and even through the phone her lie was obvious. "Okay I got this wedding invitation, plus one. I was wondering if you'd be my plus one? You have a tux right?"

Jake snickered, "I don't have a tux, but of course I'd be your plus one."

"Great" Sherry said letting out a breath she had been holding.

"So who's getting married? Anyone I know?" Jake said tired, idly fiddling with the lid to a bottle of bourbon, thinking he'd have a drink and call it a night.

"Jill and Chris." Sherry said in a near whisper.

"Oh." Jake felt his heart fall to his knees. "Well, you know them better than I do – so you pick up the present." He said amazed that his voice was even.

"You okay?" Sherry asked softly.

"Sure." Jake said ignoring the glass, and just drinking from the bottle, wincing at the burn while he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "It's history."

"I know, but.. I wouldn't ask you to come if I didn't know you'd hear about it eventually." Sherry said, "Plus I don't have a boyfriend to bring, and I know they will spend all night asking about you anyway."

"It's fine Sherry, I'll be there. Tux and all." Jake said leaning back in his chair and resting his feet on his table, nestling the bottle in his lap. "Just send me the email so I have the date and address, and I'll call you when I'm back from here."

"You're an angel." Sherry cheered.

"Hardly." Jake said with a little smile, tossing the phone on the bed as Sherry hung up. Chris was getting married, not that he should be surprised. And he felt a little childish realizing that he was more than a little jealous. Maybe he should do more than bury himself in work to forget all the layers of his own personal Pandora 's Box that he had dared open, when he met Chris. Maybe he should do something active to find himself another lover, someone who could dull the last reminiscence of Chris in his system.

He didn't even understand it himself, maybe it was because Chris had been the first and only time he had allowed himself to jump head first into it, and not putting a lid on all the dreams that their affair had spawned. He really should have known better, but by the time he realized he should reel it in, it was already too late. Obviously hopelessly late since he was still pining over the same man a year later.

Maybe he should call Chris and say congratulations, or whatever it was friends did. But Jake had long ago admitted that he could not be Chris' friend, and it was all Chris had to offer and so nothing more had ever come of it. Which for the most part was good, the less Jake had to deal with the existence of Chris the better. Now that he had some sort of security level with the D.S.O he could access superficial personnel files on both Claire and Chris Redfield in regards to when their paths have crossed the D.S.O. He had to admit Claire looked like everything Sherry insisted that she was.

The most important thing was that Chris was happy wasn't it? He could do this, he had been through worse. After all, it's not like he even had a claim to him anymore, so who was he kidding? Maybe he should never have worried about Nivans, he had been a filler just as much as Jake had, until Chris had been able to get what he really wanted.

He'd just have to cross that river when he got there, first off he had to get the fuck out of Spain, and rent a tux.

Sherry looked absolutely beautiful in her baby pink dress, Jake squirmed a little in his tux, he wasn't exactly used to wearing something like it. "Stop fidgeting." Sherry said taking his hand, "You'll mess up the tux." She smiled widely, "You look absolutely fantastic."

"Uhm thanks." Jake said with a frown, "I feel like a scarecrow."

"Idiot." Sherry shook her head, the hotel phone rang announcing that the car was there, Jake held out his arm for Sherry, she took it giggling.

Once at the church Jake tried to slink back into the shadows and just observe, he didn't want to be recognized and started to believe that it had been a horrible idea to come after all. Luckily everyone was too preoccupied on quick greeting and getting a seat to notice him. Sherry hugged a woman that Jake recognized from the files as Claire. Sherry looked over her shoulder and for a moment when she couldn't find Jake slightly panicked, and then she saw him sitting on a bench at the far end, sitting with his eyes closed enjoying the sun and dragged Claire to him. "Hey Jake, I want you to meet Claire."

"Claire," Jake said with a smile and got up before he gave her his hand to greet. "It's good to finally meet you."

"You too Jake," Claire said shaking Jake's hand.

"You're right." Claire smiled amused at Sherry, "He is both polite and not half bad looking. Think I'm gonna steal him at the reception." She winked at Sherry who laughed amused. Leaving Jake slightly mortified, slowly walking behind both women into church. When they both turned right to walk up and sit on the front rows, Jake took a left and tucked himself in on the far back seats. He could see Chris standing there waiting, talking to someone he didn't know, someone who was obviously his best man.

Jake smiled to himself, Chris looked like a million, and he deserved it didn't he? Love and happiness and all that. Seemed only fair that someone got it. And what good would it do him to sit here and feel sorry for himself? This would never have been his anyway, and would he even have wanted it? That was doubtful.

And when Jill came in, Jake could sorta understand why Chris had fallen in love, she looked like his perfect match, and that was good. It made Jake feel better, actually to the point where he genuinely smiled when they finally kissed.

The bride and groom left the church and the rest scrambled to their cars to get to the reception. Jake stood by the church wall watching Sherry as she mingled with perfect grace, whereas he just nodded and smiled at people who passed him by.

He silently followed Sherry to their cab, dreaming about a drink. "Are you okay?" She asked once they were alone in the cab, "You are awfully silent."

"I just don't have anything to say." Jake said with a warm smile, "That's all."

"I love weddings," Sherry said with a happy sigh, "More so when everyone isn't asking me when it's my turn."

"Before you know it." Jake grinned, "Husband and two snotty kids, you'll see."

"Nu uh." Sherry argued crossing her arms childishly.

^'^

Jake had managed to get a drink, and get back to the outskirts of the party without Chris seeing him, but when he sat here on a bench in the courtyard of the reception he could stare all he wanted to and no one thought him weird. It was not until he saw Sherry talk to Chris that he knew he couldn't get away with it anymore. Sherry pointed directly at him, and Chris turned around, hesitated for a moment and then walked over to where Jake sat.

"Hey Chris," Jake said with a smile, "Congratulations."

"Thanks." Chris said and sat down on the bench next to Jake. "I didn't know you were here."

"Sherry needed a date." Jake said, trying to keep the bitterness of not being invited out of his voice.

"I'm surprised you agreed." Chris said softly, "Glad, but surprised."

"What are friends for?" Jake huffed, unable to keep the bitter edge off this time. "Anyway," He sighed, "You look like a million, and so does your wife, and it's a beautiful wedding."

"How are you?" Chris asked, "I mean, shit, you know what I mean."

"Busy, got a new job and all." Jake said with a vague nod, "That's enough for me."

Chris nodded, "That's good."

Jake leaned back and sucked up the sun, "I like your sister, she seems nice."

"She is." Chris said turning his head looking at Jake.

"There you are." Jill said, stopping in front of Chris and Jake, "I was beginning to think you slipped out to have a stiff drink or something."

Chris smiled at Jill, "I just saw Jake sitting here -"

Jill looked at Jake, and then she nodded, "Ah yes, Wesker's son. I see the resemblance."

"The one and only." Jake said, smiling at Jill, "Charmed."

"I meant nothing by it, for all I hear you are a decent man." Jill added quickly, "I just meant that you look like him."

"We should get back to our guests," Chris said, standing quickly, wrapping an arm around Jill's waist. "See you later Jake."

"Sure. And again, congratulations to the both of you." Jake smiled, amazed that he pulled it off. This had been the worst idea ever, he had thought he could do this, but this sinking feeling wouldn't really leave him. Like he had to put all his silly dreams that they'd work it out against all odds, to death. It felt horribly final to see Chris walk off with his bride.

Jake made it through dinner and speeches, not really enjoying the food, more busy with being a gentleman and just getting it over with so he could leave. As the dinner ended and the booze came out and the music was turned up, Jake got up and thought he would be able to get away when slim arms grabbed his arm. "Just where are you going?" Sherry asked.

"Back to the hotel and sleep." Jake said looking down at Sherry, "Look I promised you I'd come, and I came."

"You can't leave without having a drink with and a dance with me." Sherry insisted. "And I do believe that Claire was fishing for a dance as well. Also some of the bridesmaids were eyeing you." She laughed. "Come on Jake, would you let loose a little and smile?"

He really wanted to tell her that he thought he'd be okay with this, but he wasn't. But when she smiled like that at him he just couldn't tell her no and so he nodded, "Alright, one drink then."

"Excellent." Sherry cheered, steering him back into the party.

Claire was fetching herself a drink at the bar, moving over to make space for Sherry and Jake, "There you are," She said.

Jake ordered a double drink and loosened his bowtie and downed the drink, ordered one more and downed that as well. He rolled his shoulders, he could do this. "Hey come on!" Sherry said, "I know that song!" She grabbed Jake's hand and pulled him stumbling to the dance floor. It took Jake a moment to get into the rhythm, "Sherry," He laughed, "I am too sober for this."

Sherry leaned in and wrapped her arms around Jake's neck to speak loud enough, close enough to his ear so he'd hear her over the music. "Go get a drink, and Claire."

"What? I can't just do that." Jake argued.

"She knows," Sherry blushed a little, "That you're my gay trophy date."

"She does, does she?" Jake couldn't help but to shake his head at Sherry. "Goddamn, Sherry."

"So you're gonna go save her from whatever deadbeat is roping her in to a conversation?" Sherry asked, "Oh and bring me a drink."

"Alright," Jake huffed, "Since I am your trophy date and all." He walked over to a chair and lost his tux jacket, and aimed for the bar and got himself a drink, before ordering one for him and for Sherry. He turned and placed a hand on Claire's shoulder, "Excuse me," He mumbled, feeling absolutely ridiculous, and wondering how Sherry roped him into this.

"Ah hi Jake." Claire said with a smile. "Come to save me from my brother?" She nodded at Chris who stood at her side.

Jake looked directly at Chris and then at Claire, "Absolutely, I believe your presence is wanted on the dance floor, along with this drink." He nodded at Claire's drink in her hand, "You need a refill?"

"Nope, I'm good." Claire said.

Jake held out his arm and Claire took it, letting him guide her to the dance floor, leaving Chris at the bar.

A couple of hours later Jake was outside, nestling a drink he knew he shouldn't be drinking since he was already drunk an hour ago. But who in their right mind passed up free booze? He smiled at the sky, this had turned out a great evening after all, and Sherry had been right, he really had needed to just let loose and have fun.

"Enjoying the party?" Chris said as he stepped out into the dark courtyard as well.

"I am," Jake said swaying a little, taking a sip of his drink. "Your sister is fun." He looked over his shoulder and smiled drunken at Chris. "And don't worry, I was introduced as Sherry's gay trophy date."

"Damn." Chris laughed.

"I know." Jake laughed too. "I feel like it in this damn outfit as well."

"I think you look pretty fit." Chris admitted.

Jake looked over his shoulder at Chris again, "Thanks." He licked his lips, "Hey Chris, maybe it's because I am drunk but I want you to know that I am really sorry for everything." Jake downed his drink, "Well I'm sorry for the last part at least." He grinned but wasn't amused. "Now excuse me, I'm sure there's a drink inside with my name on it."

Chris reached out and grabbed Jake's wrist and pulled him stumbling in for an embrace.

Jake wished he could push Chris away and tell him not to touch him, but he couldn't make himself do it. Maybe he was too drunk, or maybe it just felt real good to be this close again. Almost like he had never been away.

"I should find Jill." Chris whispered holding on to Jake.

"And I should find that drink." Jake said slipping from Chris' arms and went back into the party.

* * *

**AN 2: For good measure I should might add that I have no idea if Jill would want to marry Chris, or have a traditional wedding, this is just silly fanfiction. And my guess is that if your life is that insane, you go for all the "normal" that you can.**


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry for the lateness and shortness of this chapter, but I really have been super busy lately - it's summer hols soon, and that will give me more time. =)

* * *

TWO MONTHS LATER.

Jake blinked rain out his eyes, his lungs felt like they were on fire, but he could see his front door from here so he grit his teeth and sprinted the last part. It was not till he stopped to catch his breath that he noticed that someone was standing outside in the rain. Jake wiped sweat and rain out of his face, and watched as the person greeted him with a smile and a slight wave. "Chris?" He asked, which was, of course, stupid because he'd recognize that frame anywhere.

"Hey." Chris asked, "Good run?"

"Well, it was wet." Jake rolled his shoulders and pulled the key to the door from his pocket. And unlocked the front door. "So what brings you here?"

"long story," Chris pocketed his hands in his jacket, "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Jake said pushing the door up for Chris, and started to walk up the stairs to his apartment. His legs were complaining about the long run and now stairs, but Jake refused to use the elevator. He was wondering what the hell Chris was doing here, he wasn't even aware that he knew where he lived, or had any interest in knowing. Opening the door to his apartment, Jake turned on the lights in honor of the guest, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered. "There's coffee in the kitchen, would you excuse me for a moment?" Jake said waving to the kitchen, not turning around.

"Sure." Chris mumbled behind him, shrugging off his wet jacket.

Jake walked towards the bathroom, and turned "Hey you want a towel or something?"

"That would be great." Chris said, fighting with his wet boots and wet socks.

Jake smiled inwardly, funny how Chris' massive frame seemed small enough to fit into a mouse hole as he stood there in the hall. "Hang on I'll get you something dry." Jake said and went straight for the closet in the hall. "We have a dryer in the basement, if – you know." He pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a blue t-shirt and tossed it to Chris along with a towel. "You good?"

"Yes, thank you." Chris smiled.

Jake just nodded and left for the bathroom. When he turned on the spray he couldn't help but to think of the first time he and Chris had met, Jake had been pissed off that Sherry would do that to him. Maybe he still was, but not in the way that Sherry thought. Jake just wished that he had never met Chris. Jake shut off the water and got into a pair of sweats as well. Well he was busted in hating to clothes shop now, cause his outfit was the same as Chris', so what if he had just ordered 5 of each online? Who cared what his clothes looked like when he was just here at home? He had bought it because it was convenient, end of story.

"I made you coffee." Chris called from the kitchen as soon as Jake stepped out of the bathroom.

"Thanks." Jake said and walked into the kitchen, met by Chris who sat on the counter with his cup.

"You live like a monk, you know that right? A sloppy monk, but still." Chris said and looked around, there was absolutely nothing personal, no pictures no nothing. All the furniture was bought with the same pretense as the clothes, functionality and ease. "Not even a plant."

Jake reached for his coffee, "I am not here a lot, it would be unfair to have anything living." He left the kitchen through the door and went into the living room and clapped the computer down, and pulled the blinds up so he could see the thunderstorm outside. "So Chris, are you gonna tell me why you're here?"

"I wasn't aware that I needed a reason to visit a friend." Chris said, and even to his own ears, it rang horribly hollow.

"I am not your friend." Jake said, the words hurt all the way down through his chest, but it didn't make them less true. "So why are you here?"

"Alright." Chris nodded and swung his legs around the counter so he faced Jake. "I need a place to crash."

"So you thought of me?" Jake asked surprised. He wasn't sure if he should be angry or flattered.

"Honestly then I called a bunch of people before I came here," Chris said looking down into his coffee.

"Sherry huh?" Jake shrugged.

"Yeah." Chris nodded. "So can I? Crash."

Jake looked out into the rain for a moment, he had had secret dreams of Chris coming back, but not like this. "I don't know." Jake finally said.

"I understand." Chris sighed.

"No I actually don't think you do." Jake growled, his bitterness and temper getting the better of him. "Go home Chris."

"I can't." Chris mumbled.

Jake rose a brow, "Alright then go to a motel till she cools off."

"I left without my wallet." Chris sighed, "I walked here."

"Goddamn it Chris." Jake hissed, "Okay, okay you can stay. But I have work." He lied, but he just didn't want to be stuck on the couch watching TV with Chris. "You hungry?"

"Famished."

"Alright," Jake sighed, "Italian or Chinese?"

"Whatever you want." Chris said.

Jake put down his cup and picked up his computer, "The living room is yours." He mumbled, "I'll order some food." And with that he fled into the bedroom.

^'^

The food arrived and Jake came out into the kitchen to get his box and disappear into the bedroom again. "Hey Jake!" Chris called, and when Jake stopped and turned he pointed to the chair across the table.

Jake sighed and came and sat down at the table. He put on his best game-face and dug into his food in silence.

"So," Chris said twirling the fork in his food more than eating, "I know we're both really bad at this 'talking' thing, but I was wondering.. uhm.. How are you? I mean.. You know what I mean, man."

"I'm good." Jake said, wanting to kill this conversation right there.

"Settling okay?" Chris asked, refusing to let Jake off this easy.

"Actually." Jake said and looked up at Chris for a moment, "I have been thinking of going back home," He shrugged, "I'm not cut out for this sitting about, observing and recording."

"But you have everything you ever wanted." Chris burst out, "Why would you go back to – nothing."

"I have absolutely nothing," Jake shrugged.

"But you can help prevent all those incidents that you had to solve with a gun before, making sure no one gets hurt.."

"Is that what you think?" Jake rose a brow, "No one cares about a village that loses a couple of kids, or a house or two that has to be evacuated. They care about large scale incidents." Jake looked down at his food again, "Besides that, I liked solving it with a gun."

"I don't get it." Chris admitted.

"I didn't expect you to." Jake stated, "And you don't have to."

Chris sighed, "Okay."

"So," Jake said, pushing his half eaten box away from him and leaned back in his chair, "The honeymoon is over huh?"

"Oh. Jill.. well, no – and yes. I suppose I was being an idiot." Chris admitted with a goofy smile.

Jake grinned and shook his head amused.

"Well she wanted to take on a case in Dubai, and I didn't want her to go." Chris said with a weak blush, "So she told me to find somewhere else to stay till she left."

Jake laughed, "Yeah, you're an idiot Chris." He studied Chris intensely, "I don't know her, but I know of her, and she doesn't sound like a woman you tie down. Did you honestly expect her to be your little all American housewife?"

"No-" Chris mumbled, "I had hoped that she'd... be a little more content or something."

Jake nodded and rose from his chair, he felt silly that this still mattered to him, it had been over a year since he and Chris had had something, whatever it was they had had. And somehow he had been the one who clung to it, Chris seemed to have moved on just fine. Maybe it was just time to let it all go if he could. "I could borrow you some money if you'd rather go to a motel or something." He said.

"Depends." Chris said crossing his arms over his chest, studying Jake in the kitchen, "Do you want me to leave?" But he didn't give Jake a chance to answer, before he spoke again, "Why is it that we can't be friends? We used to – uhm get along, and to be honest then I miss that."

Jake bit his lip, and turned towards Chris who was still sitting at the dining table. "I - " He paused, "Maybe you should leave." He mumbled, "I'll get you some money." He turned around and walked into the bedroom. A part of him wished he could just be honest, tell Chris that he couldn't be his friend because it made him feel like a dog begging for scraps. And he did not do scraps.

"Hey." Chris said standing right behind Jake, "Could you just answer me?"

Getting to his feet, Jake turned and looked directly at Chris, "I don't have to do shit, here's a hundred, that should be enough." He held out his hand with the money.

"You're an asshole." Chris mumbled.

"And then some." Jake mumbled back, still holding out the money for Chris to take. "Go home Chris." He spat with so much venom that Chris visibly cringed.

"So that is what this is about?" Chris stated, "Jill."

"It's not about her." Jake growled.

"Then what the hell is it about?" Chris snatched Jake's wrist and pushed him up against the dresser, "The truth, tell me the fucking truth and I'll leave if you still want me to."

"I don't owe you jack-shit." Jake twisted his wrist trying to get free from Chris' grasp. He had not anticipated that Chris would kiss him, so when he did he was taken by complete surprise, torn between wanting to break Chris' neck and latch on to him and never letting go.

"The truth." Chris whispered as the kiss ended. "The truth is that I miss you, and that if you didn't feel the same way, you would have decked me one ten minutes ago."

Jake opened his eyes and looked directly into Chris', it was the truth wasn't it? That if he didn't really want Chris close he would have done a better job, he would have never let him in. "Yeah," Jake said softly, "That is probably the truth."

Chris was really confused when Jake pushed him away, but he wasn't about to give up now, he had been right, he hadn't read Jake wrong, even if he had tried his best not to be read at all.

"But it's also the truth that you should leave." Jake said with a hard expression. Oh it would be so easy and comfortable just to let himself fall into this head first, what Chris offered up was so damn tempting, but he hadn't spent all this time moving on-ish for this.

"But why?" Chris asked, honestly baffled, "You just said -"

"I know what I said." Jake sighed defeated, "But what I want has nothing to do with it."

"It has everything to do with it!" Chris argued, stepping closer to Jake again, who to his disappointment turned his side to him.

"You married Jill, and I am not gonna... Look Chris, just forget it." He turned his back to Chris and started to walk out of the bedroom. He couldn't help but to close his eyes and smile as Chris wrapped his arms around him from behind and pulled him close. Chris kissed his neck, and Jake found himself tilting his head.

Chris smiled against Jake's neck, sneaking a hand up under the plain t-shirt, feeling as Jake sucked in his breath when his warm hand ran over the soft skin. "You want this just as bad as me," Chris whispered.

In an unguarded moment Jake relaxed into Chris and mumbled, "I never stopped wanting it."

"Me neither." Chris admitted, pushing a hand past the waistband, his palm against the hot softness of Jake's rising erection.

Jake tried to list all the reasons why he shouldn't just let this happen, but when he made it to reason number two, Chris wrapped his hand around his hardness, and the list sorta died right there, and boiled down to 'he is not yours'. But no words made it past his lips, point one he was embarrassed to even think this. He knew that he had no real reason to hold on to all this, other than Chris had been like a drug that he couldn't get enough of, and that he had thought that maybe this was it, that Chris had been who he had secretly hoped would show up and sweep him off his feet. He hadn't really thought that love was for him, he was too busy dealing with death and survival to care. But when it had happened it had completely caught him off guard, and maybe that was why he still hung up on to the concept of Chris. Because he made him feel things he wasn't even aware he could feel. He was still arguing with himself when he turned around in Chris' arms and kissed him like there were no tomorrow. When the kiss ended Jake just paused and looked at Chris, God he loved that look in Chris' eyes it was enough to make his spine soft as Jell-O, but then an unwelcome thought of reality hit him, knowing that he'd look at someone else with the exact same hunger. "No." Jake whispered, freeing himself from Chris, "No.. I'm sorry I shouldn't have.. I can't.." He shook his head, readjusting his sweats, "I'm sorry." He turned and fled the bedroom, his head a mess of thoughts, hardly believing he had just told Chris 'no' when he could have just gone along and been enjoying the ride for what it was. But to his surprise he just couldn't.

Jake didn't even flinch when Chris came into the living room, he could hear the soft footsteps on the cheap wooden flooring. "Jake?" Chris said softly. "I don't understand - "

"I don't understand myself either." Jake said with a bitter smile. Jake turned around and looked at Chris, while he gestured towards the sparse bar. After a moments awkward silence Jake sighed, "You chose Jill, and I respect that – it's just that simple."

"I wasn't aware I was choosing one in favor of the other." Chris mumbled, walking over to Jake and the bar to pour a three finger drink for himself.

Jake raised a brow and pursed his lips, "You married her."

"I did." Chris sighed, "Didn't I."

"You did." Jake agreed, "And there is no place for me, uhm.. us, in that."

"There could be, if you wanted it." Chris said with a little sideways smile, "That's all I am saying, she doesn't need to ever know if that is what worries you."

Jake shook his head slowly, "I am not coming between you and your wife." Jake said softly, taking a sip of his drink and a deep breath, "Once I thought that you might, you know – might be 'the one'.." His voice dropped to a whisper, "But that wasn't how it was gonna play out, and that's fine."

"Yeah," Chris said and nodded, "I know – Maybe you're just the one that got away?"

Jake turned his head and looked directly into Chris' eyes, he opened his mouth to shoot something bitter back at him, but in the last second decided against reminding Chris that he was the one who married someone else, and ended their love affair once and for all. And for once he wished that he was brave enough to just open his mouth and tell Chris exactly how he felt, but he didn't, he just shrugged and said, "I didn't."

"I don't get you Jake, I really don't." Chris frowned, "Do you want this or don't you?"

Jake took a deep breath and gathered all his courage and said "That depends on what 'this' is." He turned while talking and snatched the bottle to pour another drink.

"This, being us." Chris said softly, placing a hand on Jake's shoulder, not ignorant to the slight flinch. "I wasn't this you know, I'd like there to be an 'us'." He smiled at Jake, "There I said it."

Jake nodded, God why was this so hard? "I told you, there can't be an 'us' as long as you are married to someone else, why is that so hard to understand?"

"I know," Chris said pouring his second drink too, "Look Jake, could we – uhm.. what about that I took you out to dinner tomorrow, and we take it from there then?"

Jake sighed, it hardly changed anything that Chris wanted to start over, but he did see sense in the madness, maybe Chris knew that he wasn't really as pious as he was letting off, it was not about the holy sanctimony of marriage, and he didn't care about Jill, but he just wasn't the sharing type. But in the long run would he take what he could get? Most likely. And would he love it anyway? Absolutely. "Maybe." Jake said, "I need to sleep on that." He downed his drink, "Alone."

"Okay." Chris said with a little smile somewhere between a smirk and a pout.


	9. Chapter 9

_sorry for the short chapter, but it's summer hols, and also steam summer sale... I give you smut though. ;) (if the smut seems disjointed I appologize, I am trying my hardest not just to repeat myself.) - And thank you for all the comments, PM's and kudos guys. You rock!_

* * *

Dinner had been pleasant, much more so than Jake had thought possible. He had expected it to feel forced and awkward, but he had genuinely had a great time. Maybe Chris had really meant the whole starting over thing. Jake inhaled the cool air as they stepped outside on the street. "I had a great time." Jake said smiling a little, "So -"

"Want a drink?" Chris asked casually, "I want a drink."

"Why didn't you just get a drink at the restaurant?" Jake asked sticking his hands down in his pockets, rolling on the balls of his feet.

"Because -" Chris smiled a little sadly, "Only women drink in a restaurant. So what will it be?"

Jake laughed and nodded, "Sure, I could do with a drink too."

"Come on then." Chris turned and walked down the curb, for an insane moment Jake thought of that one time they had walked down the streets of Budapest, and had held hands. Jake knew that he had wished that would come true somehow, but now that he was here, he didn't even want it. Well he didn't want it in the package that it came.

"I am going back to Edonia next week." Chris said out into the night as they walked.

"Come again?" Jake asked.

"I am going back to Edonia."

"But why?" Jake asked.

"We didn't exactly finish the job when we found you." Chris said with a serious tone. "And now we got a real shot at getting the group that captured you."

"Ah okay." Jake nodded.

Chris stopped and scratched his neck nervously, "Look, what do you say we have that drink at my place?"

Jake had not expected that, not by a long shot. So he just stood there like a tool.

"Please, Jake." Chris mumbled with an embarrassed smile.

Jake couldn't help but laugh, and laughed harder at Chris' mortified expression. "Did you think this would work?"

"Yeah – no.. well, I had hoped it would." Chris said staring at his shoes.

Jake didn't answer for a long time, he was back to listing the pros and cons in his head. Finally he took a deep breath and took Chris' hand, "Let's go." he said with a little secretive smile.

Chris looked up at him, confused but with a big smile, "Yeah, let's." He dragged Jake along to a larger street where they could hail a taxi. And all Jake could think was, you are actually doing this, you must be crazy. But Chris' hand felt so perfect in his so he let it slide.

The taxi ride was weird at best, Jake still trying to grasp the fact that he was here, he had known that his resolve would crumble eventually if Chris kept it up, he had just never imagined it would be this fast. So much for principles he thought to himself.

Jake had never seen Chris and Jill's place before, and he was kinda glad that he hadn't because then he would feel even more like an imposter. It was bright and nice, and clearly Jill was a lady who knew what she liked. "You place is very, uhm homely." He said while he stiffly sat down in a sofa chair.

Chris handed him a beer and sat down on the sofa table, their knees touching. "Relax, would you?"

Jake smiled at Chris and nodded, but it didn't take away the feeling of invading on territory which wasn't his. "This feels wrong, okay?" He said with a tiny voice.

Chris placed a hand on Jake's knee, calming him. "Do you regret you came?" He wet his lips and added in a dead serious tone, "I just thought that -"

"I wanted to come." Jake said quickly, "It's just weird, your place with pictures of you and your wife and all.."

"I can take them down if that makes you relax." Chris offered childishly.

"Don't be an idiot." Jake snorted.

"You're right, maybe we should have gone to your place, or a hotel or something." Chris admitted sheepishly, "We can leave if you want to."

Jake shook his head slowly, but said nothing.

"Drink up buddy." Chris grinned and emptied his beer in one go.

"What's the hurry?" Jake asked.

Chris' knowing smile grew, and to his delight Jake looked flushed. They both knew why they were here, and they had been pussyfooting around it for too long. "Stand up." Chris said softly, and to his mild surprise Jake just slowly rose to his feet, letting Chris take the can of beer from his hand and place it on the table.

Jake looked down at Chris and started to unbutton his shirt, hating himself for wearing this shirt today. Still he could tell that Chris didn't mind that it took time. He finished the last button and let Chris fumble with his belt and zipper. The pants dropped and Chris let his hands run up Jake's sides as he too stood in a fluid move. Their lips met while Chris battled with his own t-shirt, until he at last had to end the kiss to pull it over his head and toss it aside.

When Jake felt Chris' skin against his, it was like he had never been away, like he had touched him yesterday, he recalled the scent, the texture and the sound of Chris. He tried to tell himself this was dangerous ground, he should leave now before he lost himself completely and wouldn't know how to stop. Right now he just wanted to jump head first into Chris and never surface again. "God, I missed you." He whispered biting Chris' earlobe.

"Nnhm." Chris hummed in response, pushing Jake backwards into the sofa. "Is that why you've been avoiding me?" He said with a soft smile, leaning down in over Jake to kiss his neck and jaw, his hand slipping on the beige leather sofa.

"Yeah." Jake whispered, tilting his head backwards to give more room for Chris' mouth and tongue.

Somewhere in someone's pocket a phone was ringing, but neither of them reacted, instead Chris pulled back and snapped his belt up, and Jake shimmied out of his briefs. "Uhm Chris, this sofa is -"

"Yeah." Chris said with a laugh, "Floor?"

"Better." Jake laughed softly as he got off the sofa, snatched a pillow and sat down on the floor with the pillow in his lap.

Chris chuckled, and took three long steps backwards where he too sat down, "If you want it, come over here and get it." He teased.

Jake caught on and his smile grew to a grin, before he crawled across the no doubt expensive carpet, on his hands and knees to where Chris sat. When he made it there, he pounced on Chris and forced him down on his back, "Making me work for it huh?" He asked rubbing himself against Chris, and was rewarded with a lewd sound somewhere between a gasp and a moan.

"What? No points for creativity?" Chris asked with a smile. Jake opened his mouth to answer, but just then Chris flipped them over, "Could you hold that thought?"

"No." Jake grabbed a hold of Chris so he couldn't push off.

"But I was just gonna go get – you know."

"No." Jake repeated, not because he didn't want Chris to go get it, but because he knew he was dangerously close to losing his nerve, and if Chris wasn't here to pin him down and whisper nonsense in his ears, he might as well get dressed. Because what the hell was he even doing here? Lying on a tacky carpet, ass in the air for a married man.

"Okay, okay I won't." Chris said with a slightly puzzled look, leaning down to kiss Jake again. "I'll come prepared next time." He grinned to take the strange seriousness out of the situation, "Dog collar and anal beads – the works."

"It's not a fucking joke." Jake said slightly annoyed.

"I know babe, I know." Chris whispered, wrapping a hand around their joined cocks, slowly working them up again, "I just wanted to make it perfect for you."

Jake closed his eyes and sighed blissfully as lust slowly filled his veins again, "It already is." he whispered.

Chris couldn't help himself, it was the closest to a declaration of love he had ever gotten from Jake, and most likely would ever get, so it made his heart swell with both love and shame. "Stay the night," Chris sucked in his breath as Jake spasmed lightly, ejaculating between their bodies. Chris made swift job of finishing himself, his hand wet with Jake's sperm.

Jake pushed Chris off him so he could breathe, it had been exactly what he had needed, something to break down the wall of awkward. "the night huh?" He grinned, "Only if we bring that bottle of bourbon I saw when I walked in the door."

"If I didn't know better I'd think you were trying to get me drunk Mr. Miller." Chris chuckled.

"No I am trying to get myself drunk," Jake said, sitting up looking down at Chris, "And -" He took a deep breath, deciding that they had to talk about it eventually, then now was a good a time as any, if he had to make a run for it, he still could. "Why aren't you more disturbed by asking me to go sleep in you and your wife's bed?"

"I'm not asking you to sleep." Chris grinned.

"Chris."

"Because.. You'd never believe me if I told you." Chris said seriously.

"Try me."

"Alright." Chris said, "Because I never stopped being in love with you."

"That is fucking cheap." Jake frowned.

"No but I mean it." Chris said, sitting up, looking Jake directly in the eyes. "I am dead serious."

Jake sat for a moment in silence, licking his lips nervously. What the hell was he supposed to do with that admission? He had asked for it, hadn't he? He had hoped for it, and now that he had it, he had no fucking clue what to do with it. "What am I supposed to do with that?" Jake voiced the words in his head with a tiny, slightly desperate tone. He knew it was not the answer that Chris wanted, he could tell from the way he wheezed out the breath he had been holding.

"I don't know." Chris shrugged, "Oh damn, maybe this really is a bad idea, and I am being a selfish asshole." He mumbled, not able to meet Jake's gaze.

Jake decided for a leap of faith and took a deep breath, "Maybe you are, but then so am I."

Chris looked up at Jake trying to read the meaning of that off the other man's face.

"I'm still here, aren't I?" Jake smiled.

"Guess you are." Chris said, his confused expression made way for a grin, "Does this mean you are gonna stay?"

"Yeah." Jake nodded, "I am serious about the booze though."

Jake could feel the buzz of the bourbon through his body, it felt nice and warm, and he cuddled up to Chris as he was watching some stupid sci-fi movie that Jake didn't care for. "What is it about you huh?" Jake said out into the room, noticing that Chris looked at him instead of the TV.

"It's the abs isn't it?" Chris smiled amused.

Jake raised a brow, choosing not to comment on that.

Chris smiled softly, "I can't believe you're actually here."

"Me neither." Jake mumbled, taking another lazy swing of the bottle.

"Put that bottle away," Chris whispered leaning in over and took the bottle from Jake, placing it on the bedside table, "And look at me." He held Jake's head with two fingers on his chin, "I meant it."

Jake just wrapped his arms around Chris' neck and pulled him down for a kiss, "Shut up." He whispered against Chris' lips.

Chris smiled, kissing Jake quickly before he started to kiss his way down his neck, his chest, and when Jake let his legs fall out to each side, Chris grinned against the soft skin and changed directions, kissing Jake's hipbone instead, earning himself a little pouty sigh. Chris kissed and nipped his way down over Jake's inner thigh.

Jake arched off the mattress when he felt Chris' licking a sloppy wet trail from his anus to the base of his cock.

Chris pushed Jake's knees up against his chest, and slowly caressed his way down the soft thighs again, counting on Jake holding his own legs. He leaned in over the bed and opened his bedside drawer where he had massage oil and condoms, it just had to do.

Jake heard Chris say a lot of things, but what registered was 'I wanna fuck you so bad' and all he could do was to push down on the fingers that were stretching him. When Chris' tongue joined the fingers it was sweet torture. But when Jake reached for his aching erection, strong, soft hands turned him around to his stomach. Chris' tongue returned but it was quickly replaced by fingers, smearing something cold that ran down Jake's thigh making him shudder from the tickle.

Holding on to the base of his cock, making sure the condom didn't slip, Chris pushed inside, slowly. And like before he couldn't help but to be a little amazed that Jake's body just accommodated him with ease. Once fully in, Chris grabbed a hold of Jake's hip, noting out of the corner of his eye that Jake lifted one hand to push against the headboard. "You are – well you." Chris huffed, pulling back only to push back in, listening to Jake's soft moan. "Nothing feels quite as good as you." He continued. "Nothing at all."

Jake whimpered, he wanted to answer that, he really did, but he was so damn turned on that his mind wouldn't work straight, and for a split second he wondered how the hell Chris did it, talking and fucking at the same time. The thrusts were not smooth or demanding, they were short and stuttering, like Chris were trying his hardest to control himself. Jake pushed back hard, and grabbed a hold of his own erection, guessing that Chris would catch on.

And he did, Chris sped up, happy that he didn't have to attempt some sort of fucked up tantric marathon fuck session, because he didn't think he'd last more than two minutes like this. It was all just a bit much, Jake here, and well then Jake himself which did funny things to his spine and brain. "I can't -" he managed to get out between grit teeth.

But Jake didn't hear it, he wasn't sure if he felt like he was sucked into a hole, or hit a brick wall, but all air was pushed out of his chest, and soft lightning licked his brain as he climaxed like he didn't think he could.

Chris was on his back in the bed grinning, trying to catch his breath, and when he heard Jake go 'well damn." into the pillow, he chuckled out of breath. "That is the most redeeming quality about you, Miller, it doesn't matter if it lasts two hours or two minutes, you are the lay of a lifetime. Holy crap, man."

Jake knew that he should and could have been offended, but he knew what Chris meant. "Right back at you, Redfield." He managed to mumble. "Asshole."

Chris tossed the condom at the waste in, and curled up against Jake, kissing the sweaty shoulder blade. "So you gonna be here when I wake?" He asked.

"Depends." Jake slurred on the edge of sleep.

"Come on, Jake." Chris asked, dangerously close to begging.

"Yeah, yeah I'll be here."


	10. Chapter 10

_AN1: I should trigger warn for random violent attack. (more in the end note) - And most of all this chapter drops some bombs, but remember 'nothing is true - everything is..' eh wrong game, but still.. hahaha don't believe it's that straight forward, and also this was a planned plot twist, so I know where I am going. I think there is a good 2 maybe 3 chapters left of this story._

* * *

**A year later.**

Cheap hotels was still a hate-love thing for Jake, both for the same reasons as ever, but also because he could hide away with Chris. Once the door to the room was locked, it was like they were cocooned and the outside world didn't exist.

It wasn't like they had ever made any rules of conduct, a safe word or any of that. They just made it up as they went along, the difficult task of juggling being secretive, and then being there 100% when they saw each other. Jake had to admit there had been some really awkward moments, like when Chris had invited everyone over for his birthday, and Claire and Sherry had insisted that he came too, they had given Chris shit for not inviting Jake. Even if Jake had told them that he had just declined because he was busy, this was such an obvious lie that neither of the girls believed him. He had had to sit there and play nice with Chris, Jill and their friends. Have a beer and talk sports when all he could think of was sucking Chris' cock. Yeah that had been a very, very long evening.

When Sherry had asked him if there was still bad blood between him and Chris, because he had been all walled up. Jake made a mental note to lie better, and never put himself or Chris in a situation like this again. But for most of the time, Jake just pretended that Chris' other life didn't exist.

That was until the day when Chris had called and asked Jake to meet him at this diner outside the city. Jake had thought it was sorta weird, but he had said he'd be there.

And this was where he found himself now, a dingy crap diner, slowly drinking his second refill of coffee, listening to whatever shit was on the jukebox, staring at his phone, wondering where the hell Chris was. But he didn't want to text him, just in case something came up, and maybe in case Jill went through his phone. So he just sighed and stared out the window.

"Want another refill?" The waitress asked, and Jake looked down at his cold coffee, "Yeah." He smiled politely at the girl and urged her to just pour some hot coffee into the cold in his cup.

For a second Jake almost thought she would say something like 'got stood up huh?' But she didn't, her empathic motherly look said it all. And Jake just sighed and pulled his cup back and watched the now warm brown liquid swirl and settle. He promised himself he'd walk out once he finished this cup.

He was just about to leave when Chris walked through the door, he looked flustered and Jake felt slightly bad for sitting here thinking he had just forgotten, apparently he had hurried. "Sorry." Chris mumbled, "I was hoping you'd still be here."

"I was just about to leave actually." Jake shrugged, but leaned back into his seat.

"Okay so," Chris said, "I'm sorry, I should have called."

"It's fine, you're here now." Jake said with a gentle smile, which was in stark contrast to his body language and annoyed stare.

Chris sighed, knowing he deserved every one of the snarky comments coming his way. "What will it be, handsome?" The waitress suddenly said, standing at their table.

"Err.. cup of coffee, do you have anything stronger to put in it? Like rum or something." Chris asked.

"Actually.. then" The waitress looked over at Jake, "Yeah I think we have a bottle of something out back, I can make an exception for you guys." She smiled brightly. "You want one too?"

"Sure." Jake said, getting more and more antsy, not liking this one bit. The waitress left and Jake studied Chris. "So?"

"Jill wanted me to – Never mind," He broke the unwritten rule of never talking about his 'other' life, but today he had to. "I told her it was work related, I don't know if she believed me."

Jake nodded, "You could just have called me, and told me that you were busy, you know." Jake said, quickly glancing up at the waitress as she brought their coffee.

"I have been working myself up to this for a week, so-" Chris leaned in over the table, and much to Jake's surprise, he took his hand, covered it with his own. "I uhm, I know we never talked about exactly what we are, but I need you to know that I love you."

"What is it?" Jake felt himself go cold and hot, not sure he wanted to hear what Chris had to say.

"Jill is pregnant." Chris said, unable to look Jake in the eyes, and only nodded as Jake snatched his hand out from under Chris'.

"Oh." Jake sucked in his breath, and crossed his arms over his chest. "I suppose congratulations are in order then."

"Jake, don't." Chris whined.

"Don't what?" Jake asked, surprised that his voice didn't tremble as much as he thought it would.

Chris just shot him a glare, and Jake looked away. "Jake, babe.. look at me." Chris said keeping his voice low in the almost empty diner. Jake turned his head and looked at Chris. "So," Chris said, wetting his lips, "Where does this leave us?"

"A kid needs his dad." Jake said with a cold tone, "That is where it leaves us."

"You didn't have a dad, and -"

"Don't go there." Jake whispered angrily.

"Aw come on man, I didn't mean it like that." Chris said turning his attention to his coffee.

Jake sat silent in a moment and then nodded, "Yeah, yeah I know." He said softly, "Touchy subject, that's all."

Chris nodded too. "All I wanted to do was just to tell you, and see you." He smiled into his coffee, "It's been too long."

"Yeah." Jake smiled knowingly to his own reflection in the coffee's surface. "I'd lie if I said it didn't complicate things." He said with a diplomatic expression and tone. "It all depends on you, what you wanna do." He slowly looked up at Chris who fidgeted with a paper napkin. "We both knew that someday we'd be at a crossroad, and had to make a choice."

"Are you seriously sitting there and lecturing me on commitment?" Chris asked surprised.

"I am not lecturing you, I am just saying you have to make a choice." Jake said coolly, "And that I refuse to believe that it comes as a surprise."

"So what is it you want, huh Jake? You want commitment too? Boyfriends with identical sneakers, white picket fence and family over for thanksgiving?" Chris sneered.

"I never said that." Jake said, his eyes shooting daggers, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "And I'd definitely never wear the same sneakers as you." He mumbled into his coffee. "Don't twist my words."

"I'm sorry." Chris whimpered, "I'm sorry.. this whole thing is just.. too much, man."

"Yeah it's just great that you ask me to come to this shithole and then lets me sit and rot like a fucking idiot, and then you unload your crap on me. Is there anything else I can help you with today?" Jake hissed angrily, he knew that the right thing would be to leave it be, but he just couldn't. Chris had hit a nerve hadn't he? Commitment was exactly why Jake had been reluctant to get into this whole clusterfuck.

"Okay I deserved that." Chris mumbled pinching the bridge of his nose to ward off the emerging headache.

"Yes, you did." Jake huffed, but went back to his coffee.

"So what do you wanna do?" Chris asked softly after they had been sitting in silence for a long time, just listening to the horrible damn country music on the jukebox.

"Don't know." Jake admitted in a near whisper, "Why are you asking me? What do you want?"

"You." Chris said with a little timid smile.

"Well I am right here." Jake said, his voice still carrying a hint of anger. "The real question is really, what role you expect me to have, do you want things to continue like before?"

"Yeah.." Chris said and nodded. "I just wanted to tell you this myself, I didn't want it to come back to bite my ass later."

"Suppose there is no right time for dropping a bomb like that." Jake sighed, feeling like his life just got fifty percent more complicated.

"Suppose not." Chris looked up at Jake and dared a real smile, "So we good?"

Jake looked away from Chris and out the window at the parking lot. Some insane voice in the back of his mind told him that things would just be so much simple without Chris, but another part of him never wanted to let go. "Yeah." The words were like molasses, "I need to know something though, the truth Chris." He looked over at Chris with a flicker of a smile, "Do you expect me to stand by, while you play family?"

"Jake, for fucks sake man, here we go again with the commitment thing." Chris ran a hand through his hair, "Yes, I would be an idiot if I didn't want that, and that is the truth." His cheeks flushed but more from anger than from embarrassment. "It does raise the interesting question of, how did you imagine this?"

"I stopped imagining things long ago." Jake said with a hurt expression, "But if that is all you want from me, then you know where I live and you got my number." He leaned in over the table and whispered, "We could always go and do a fast one in a bathroom stall."

"Okay Jake, I know how it sounds, but you have to understand that Jill is on my case about responsibility and family commitments and what have you. But I want you too, that didn't just go away because she wants to be someone's mother."

"Wow." Jake just sighed, "Wow man." He shook his head, "She didn't chose to be a mother, you chose to stick your fucking cock inside her and shoot your load, that is what happened." He flinched as the doorbell above the door to the diner rang when someone entered.

"We're married, what the hell did you expect?" Chris shot back.

"Absolutely nothing." Jake lied.

"God can we just pretend this conversation never happened?" Chris fell back in his chair and rubbed his face in his hands.

"No." Jake just stated, trying his hardest to keep his face blank, not showing how childishly hurt he felt. What had he imagined indeed?

"Alright." Chris nodded, he bit his lip and then added "All I ask is that you don't ask me to choose, I can't – I won't."

"I won't." Jake said softly, he put his cup down on the table and looked sadly at Chris, "I'm just not sure I can do this." He said, feeling his he had to drag every word out, why was talking about feelings so hard when it came to Chris?

Chris nodded, "Look do you want to get out of here? Let's go do something else, and pick this up later."

Jake nodded, really he just wanted to get out of here. "What did you have in mind?"

"Dunno, maybe we can make things up as we go?" Chris smiled, relieved that Jake had not had a fit, but honestly he seemed more shell shocked than anything. "Feel like dancing?" Chris smiled boyish.

"Dancing?" Jake couldn't help but to smile. "It's noon, where the fuck would you go dancing?"

"Well, admitted we have some hours to burn." He grinned and got up from the table, followed by Jake.

Hours later Jake found himself in a town he had never heard of, in a disco he had not known existed, with a drink he couldn't pronounce in his hand. He glanced over at Chris and smiled, "I don't dance," He yelled in Chris' ear.

Chris looked at Jake lovingly, his soft smile widened to a knowing grin. "Yes you do." Chris laughed. Jake punched his shoulder playfully, making Chris look down at his pocket, he picked up his phone which couldn't be heard, but the screen flashed as it announced an incoming call. "Hang on." Chris picked up the phone, "Yeah?" He yelled over the music. "We went for a drink, - mmhmm, well Jake." Chris frowned, "Yeah him, I told you that – Hang on, I can't hear you." He shot Jake an apologetic look and left for the bathrooms for less noise.

Jake felt that knot in his chest grow and pulsate like his fear of losing Chris was an entity of its own. Because that was really what this was about, that he didn't want to be without, no matter how much easier it would be. He took a sip of his drink and looked out over the dance floor. This was his future wasn't it? 'Can't come Tuesday, son's soccer practice', 'can't do Friday cause we're going to the park', 'Jill wants me to be home more'. Was he really ready to deal with that?

Chris came back in with a sheepish look, "Sorry about that." He whispered in Jake's ear, "I turned the phone off now." He smiled against the shell of the ear.

"You were right in the diner." Jake said casually, not turning his head, just assuming that Chris heard him. "I wish, I wish that you were mine."

"But I am." Chris said, wrapping his arms around Jake's waist.

"No you're not." Jake said sadly, and then returned to his drink.

"Don't.. Let's just have some fun. Want a refill?"

"Sure."

Of course Chris had been right, only five drinks later, Jake was dancing and laughing. How Chris loved to see him like that, laughing and being silly. It was so rare not to see him all buttoned up and serious with a scowl on his face. Chris whipped out an arm and pulled a surprised Jake close. "I love you," He said, kissing the other man swiftly.

Jake hated that his entire face felt warm, his smile widened and he looked at Chris, "I love you too." He said, feeling that familiar ache in the pit of his stomach. Knowing that it was the naked truth.

Chris' smile widened, "Good." And then he twirled Jake around and let go, resuming dancing.

It was late when they walked out of the club, Jake almost stumbling over the curb and his own feet, and Chris catching him. They had left the car by the motel because drinking and driving didn't quite mix. So they walked down the street, Jake had his arm around Chris' waist, and Chris his arm around Jake's shoulders. Jake rested his lead heavy head on Chris shoulder, "Did you see that chick in the pink top, holy fuck she was -"

But Jake didn't get to finish his sentence, before he heard a loud crack, and Chris fell like a rock to the curb, it took a couple of seconds for Jake to register what had happened, and what was going on. He had not seen danger here, he had not even suspected it. "Wh-what.." He turned around and looked at four young men and a woman, standing behind them, one man held a steel pipe in his hand.

"You fucking faggots make me sick, parading your filth around like that." One of the men said.

Jake tried to think fast, tried to prep for a fight mentally, but he was so drunk that he couldn't really focus. One of the men reached out for his arm, but Jake was faster and moved a step away, he couldn't really get a hit in on either of the men, he could only attempt to stay out of reach, but in the end they proved too many, and Jake too drunk. One of them got a real good punch in on his face, he felt the cartilage of his nose crack, and blood pooled in his mouth as another fist made impact with his chin. If it was a kneejerk reaction or if it was luck he didn't know, but he managed to get a grip on the steel pipe, and swiftly turned it around and thrust the far end into its owners face causing him to double over in pain.

The girl screamed and two of the men came to their friend's aid, getting him back to his feet, the last man sized up Jake, "Come on, we can take him." He yelled, but his friends were not as keen. "We have to take Peter to the E.R, man. He crushed his fucking mouth." The last man looked from the two men holding up Peter who tried to stop the bleeding with his hands. And the girl looked ghostly pale in the background. "Alright.. " The last man said, "You're fucking dead faggot, you hear me?" He pointed at Jake who held on to the steel pipe so hard his knuckles were white.

"You're welcome to try fucker." Jake spat back.

"Come on Ben, we gotta go!" The girl yelled, clearly upset. And in the end Ben just glared at Jake and then ran to join his friends, getting their buddy to the E.R.

Jake was still holding the steel pipe when he fell on his knees next to Chris on the pavement, "Chris!" He whispered, with shaking fingers searching for a pulse on Chris' neck. He let out a breath of relief when he found it. "Thank you Jesus." He whispered, resting his forehead against Chris'. He sat up and got his phone out calling for an ambulance, he knew that none of the field tricks he knew would help Chris, and he needed a hospital. "Hello?" He said into his phone as he connected with the alarm central, "I'm on some street, right next to something called uhm.. Zapp fashion, my friend he is, he is – someone hit him over the head with a steel pipe, he's bleeding and not responding. Could you send someone?"

"Zapp Fashion you say?" The operator asked.

"Yes."

"He took a blow to the head?"

"Yes."

"Are you staying with him?" The operator asked.

"Yes! Just send someone for fucks sake." Jake growled down the phone.

"They are already on their way sir, do you want to stay on the phone till they get there?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks." Jake mumbled hanging up while the operator still spoke. He looked down at Chris and placed a bloody hand on his cheek, "They're coming, you're gonna be alright." He smiled, winching at the sharp pain in what seems like his entire face. Had they been in the field, things would have looked so very different, they would have heard them coming, and those fucking idiots would have had their asses handed to them, and most of all, Jake would have carried something to treat the gash in Chris' head. He honestly hadn't felt this helpless since his mother got real sick, and this – this was why he never let anyone close.

* * *

_AN2: When I wrote this I had to ask my beta if it seemed too weird that they'd get attacked. But things like that sadly happens all over the world, and they rarely have any other explanation than they don't like what the victims were doing. And also my maybe own personal opinion on things since I hardly think that either Chris or Jake are superhuman, and ergo very real human things can happen in a split second. But again, it's a part of the plot, cause if it were not, I would have avoided that scene all together and written a car crash._


	11. Chapter 11

One more chapter planned, so we're almost there.

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Jake waited for the doctor to finish patching him up, listening to the beeps and soft voices of the E.R. Somewhere someone cried. He didn't really pay attention to what the nurses and doctors were doing, his thoughts were elsewhere.

"You should rest for a few days, maybe take off work and stay home." The doctor said with his back to Jake, writing something in the journal. "I wouldn't advise eating anything that is too hard to chew for a weeks' time, the stitches might open."

"Okay." Jake said experimentally touching his face, it felt like his nose and jaw was on fire, but it was probably not something a regular painkiller would take care of.

"Go see your regular doctor in a weeks' time to have the stitches taken out." The E.R. Doctor turned around. "Alright then."

"Thanks." Jake mumbled. "Hey, I came here with another guy, you wouldn't know where I find out where he is, do you?"

"Try the information desk at the entrance, it's my best guess." The nurse said with a smile while she pulled the paper sheet off the examination cot.

"Great, thanks." Jake said trying to smile, but the stiches wouldn't let him. He left the closure feeling lightheaded, trying to make sense of all this. If they had just not gotten drunk, they would have been more aware. And how had they not heard that idiot with the iron pipe? Jesus fucking Christ, he had killed creatures the size of a small truck, and then some fucking bigoted hooligan got the better of them? That just seemed so unreal.

He stopped by the front desk and attempted another smile at the nurse there. "Hey, I am looking for a patient, he suffered head trauma... Chris Redfield."

"Yeah?" The Nurse said, "Are you his next of kin?"

"No, but we were in an accident together, I just wanted to make sure he is okay." Jake said feeling his frustration rise.

"I'm sorry; I can't give you this information if you are not related."

"Come on." Jake leaned in over the desk, "I just need to know if he's okay. He's my best friend ma'am. Wouldn't you want to know if your best friend was okay if you had been in an accident?"

"Suppose so." The nurse said chewing on her pen for a little while. "Alright, let me see... Chris... Red – Got him. Oh my, well I can tell you that the police are there, and that his wife is on her way. So he is in good hands."

"The police? His wife? Is he okay?" Jake's voice trembled a little to his own annoyance.

"Can't say." The nurse sighed and smiled, "Look best advice I can give you is that you talk to his wife tomorrow."

"Okay." Jake said unable to hide his disappointment, straightening up.

"I'm sorry." The nurse said with another motherly smile.

"Sure you are." Jake said a little more snide than he had wanted.

"Can I call you a cab or something?" The nurse asked.

"Yeah that would be great." Jake sighed. If only his face didn't burn and his headache pound like his brain was trying to knock its way out of his skull, he'd go search for Chris himself. But he had to admit that he really just needed to sit down, maybe he could go back to the motel and try again later. With all that attention they gave Chris at the hospital he would be in good hands for now, and -

"Jake Muller?"

Jake nodded while pinching the bridge of his nose to ward off his headache. "Yeah."

"We'd like to have a little chat with you."

Jake looked up and saw two uniformed officers, "You have got to be shitting me." He mumbled. "What about?" He asked politely.

"Could we do this somewhere more private?" The one officer asked.

Jake sighed again, he could have told himself this, if the police was at Chris' bed, they'd be looking for him too. "Sure."

"How about the car? And we can take you to where you need to go afterwards?" The other officer said.

"Whatever works for you." Jake said, getting a slight sting of paranoia as they stepped outside, and into the police car, but when weren't he paranoid?

"So," The first officer said, "I am Adams, and this is McFrey." He pointed at the officer in the driver's seat. "Would you like to tell us what happened?"

"We were walking back to the motel after a night out. Some asshole comes up and hits Chris over the head with a steel pipe or something. There was a fistfight." He pointed to his face, "And the group left."

"Okay," Adams said, "How many were they?"

"Hmm, A girl and two guys I think." Jake said, "Why is this relevant? What are the odds that you'd ever find them?" Jake looked back at the hospital, "I did fuck that one kid up pretty good, you might find him in there."

Adams nodded, "Got any idea why they attacked you? Did you know them? Maybe got into an argument at whatever club you were at."

Jake squared his shoulders, there was no way in hell he'd tell these two fuckwits what had really gone down. "No we don't know them, and never had dealings with them before. Maybe they just didn't like my face?"

"Jake." McFrey butted in, "Are you sure they didn't say something?"

"Yes." Jake growled.

"Alright now this might be seen as witness coaching, but what if I tell you that we had problems with a group of people attacking young men who left this specific club which is not far from where you were attacked." Adams said calmly, "And I would really like to keep this from happening to other couples."

Jake started to recite the note sheet to Für Elise in his head, an old coping mechanism when he dealt with emotional stress. "We are not a couple." Jake said with a bloodless smile, "He is my friend and my colleague."

Adams looked down at his data pad and up at Jake, "If you say so."

"I do."

"No one is judging you." Adams tried, "But you are not the first to be attacked on that street, at that hour."

"I have nothing more to say." Jake said crossing his arms over his chest, "I'd like to be taken back to the motel by the highway, the fucking Ritz with the validated parking you know." He sat back in his seat sourly.

"Yeah I know the place." McFrey said and started the car.

They drove in silence to the motel, and as Jake got out of the car Adams leaned out the open window of the passenger site and handed Jake his card. "If you remember something, call me." He smiled, "I'd really like to get those fuckers. So think about it huh?"

"Yeah." Jake said hesitantly taking the card, and then walking back to his hotel room with long strides. The sun had just come up over the horizon, and Jake sat down on the bed. How the hell did this happen? It was not supposed to be like this! They was supposed to have spent a great weekend here, it was supposed to have been fucking fun! He punched the bed in anger.

-#-

He only slept for an hour and then woke to his throbbing face. He went for a shower wondering if he should just leave the motel, but on the other hand he didn't want to leave Chris. And then again Jill was here now, and he should step away, like he always did. But he really should take his stuff to the hospital. He tried to come up with a whole handful of different scenarios, but none of them were good.

He had to make up his mind, to walk away or to fight for it. This would not do, and by now it was just a matter of time before Jill figured it out anyway if she hadn't already. Jake stared at himself in the mirror, trying to will himself into doing what he knew was right. He had walked away once, and what good had that done him? He loved Chris, he fucking loved him. And you fight for what you love, don't you? Then why was he terrified by the aspect of Jill's anger? Maybe because he would be furious if he was her? He didn't know. But it ended here.

He pushed off the sink and collected their stuff and went to get Chris' car, driving to the hospital. His phone buzzed, he could see it was Sherry calling and he wasn't sure he should pick up, it seemed awfully convenient that she called right now. But he pulled in to the side and picked up the third time it started ringing.

"Yeah." Jake sighed whishing desperately he had a beer, he could really, really go for a beer right about now. He couldn't even tell what Sherry said, she was screaming at him, cursing him out something fierce. And he just tossed the phone on the passenger seat and started driving, letting Sherry finish her rant. He wondered why the hell she'd call and curse him out, did Jill know? Or had she just hinted something which made Sherry add two and two? Or was the rant about something else? He parked the car, and picked up the phone, "I'll have to call you back." He said while Sherry was still talking, and hung up. Nothing was going to distract him.

Walking up to the hospital he kept reciting Mozart in his head, whistling it to himself.

-#-

It had cost Jake some serious powers of persuasion to be told which floor and wing where Chris was admitted, he just kept insisting that he had his personal belongings and that he was leaving town and had to give it back. And no he didn't trust the hospital staff enough to deal with this. He sorta wished that he had gotten some sort of bad ass wallet ID like Sherry had. He just had an ordinary ID which he had not brought here, who the hell brings their work ID for a weekend of hanging out and fucking? No one, that's who.

As he walked down the hall to Chris' room he had to force his feet to keep pace or he'd come to a halt. He could see two cops sitting outside on the hall and thought it was a pretty safe bet that it would be Chris' room.

"This' Chris Redfield's room?" He asked casually as he stopped in front of the two officers.

"Who wanna know."

"Name's Jake Muller, I am a friend." He looked at their stone faces, Goddamn that he had not taken his damn ID with him. "Alright is Jill in there?"

"Could be."

"Jesus Christ." Jake sighed annoyed, "Cut a guy some slack huh? Look I have his stuff, and I am driving back home today, so I want to give it to him, or his wife." He held out a sports bag, "Do you think you could do that? I mean take a look if Jill is in there and make her come out here?"

The door opened and Jill stood there, she looked tired and bothered, "You." She said with a flat tone, "Wesker's kid. What do you want?"

Jake's jaw flexed, but he kept his cool, deciding he did not like that woman one bit. "I got Chris' stuff. There's some work papers in there, didn't want to leave it to anyone else."

Jill stepped out between the cops and took the offered bag.

"How is he?" Jake asked.

"As could be expected when someone bashes your skull in." Jill said eyeing Jake. "You look pretty banged up too."

"It's nothing." Jake said with a shrug.

Jill looked thoughtful, "I had not expected it to be you." She said cryptically, making Jake cold all over, suddenly unsure of how much she knew, and how good an idea this had really been.

"Riddle me this," Jill said with a hard expression, "You two are skilled soldiers, trained to be the best of the best. Well at least Chris is." She smiled a little slightly apologetic smile, "How did this happen?"

Jake relaxed a little. "We had some drinks, and were walking back to the motel, Chris had left the car cause he didn't want to tempt himself to drink and drive."

"interesting." Jill said putting the bag down. "He told me he was going to a conference."

"Eh, maybe he just needed to get out, blow off some steam." Jake said, pocketing his hands trying to be as casual about this as possible.

"Whatever for?" Jill asked innocently.

Jake squinted, knowing she was baiting him, just not sure for what. "Maybe it all just went a little fast, the whole white picket fence and kids and all." Jake said in a near whisper.

"What did you just say?" Jill asked a little too calm.

"I said he might felt it had all gone a little fast with -" Jake repeated.

Jill swirled her hand over her head impatient, "White picket fence and kids." She looked him up and down, "Jesus fucking Christ... it's you."

"Excuse me?"

"It's you he's fucking isn't it? You're fucking my husband!" Jill said, taking a measured step towards Jake, who had to fight the urge to step back.

"Don't be ridiculous." Jake said, inwardly hitting himself over the head, he wasn't here to wimp out, he was here to not hide anymore.

Jill laughed a mirthless laugh. "I see.." She said more to herself than to Jake. She nodded slowly and said, "There is no fucking kid." She sneered, "That is something I told Chris to make him quit whoever it was he was seeing on the side. Because I knew, I knew he was involved with someone else. Call it women's intuition." She tapped her nose and grinned bitterly. "I knew that he wouldn't be happy about it, and with me leaving for work I relied on him not telling his sister, but to run straight to his mistress and give her the story about the baby and end it. Cause I thought he'd be an honorable guy like that."

"Guess you were wrong." Jake just said, not specifying what she was wrong about.

"I had expected a lot, but that it had to be you is just the universe having a fucking laugh at my expense." She said shaking her head. "From where I am standing, your whole damn bloodline is just tainted with death and destruction."

Jake wasn't gonna take this more obvious taunt, and just blinked. "I love him too." He just said.

"I'm sure you do." Jill laughed bitterly, "What is there not to love about Chris?"

Jake took a deep breath and said "I am not here to confront you, believe it or not, I am just here to drop off his bag."

"Right," Jill said and just stared at Jake coldly for a moment before she picked up the bag. "This is not the place."

"Agreed." Jake said, not sure why he agreed to that, because as far as he was concerned, there 'was' no right venue for this. So he supposed that when Chris came around again, they'd have to figure this whole clusterfuck out. One thing was sure, he was tired of coming in second, of the waiting, wanting, being careful all the time. And with a little luck Jill would demand that he chose, that alone would drive Chris back to him.

Jake walked out the hospital to Chris' car with a smile.


	12. Chapter 12

_This is the end, beautiful friend - the end. Yeah well, Jim Morrison aside, it's the truth. The last chapter. Thank you ALL for reading along and for the comments, the kudos, the nice words on Tumblr, the favs and follows.. I really, really appreciate it! I had not thought it was a story anyone would bother with since no stories existed with this pairring when I first uploaded the first chapter. Anyway, again, thank you so very much. And thanks to EJ for the beta job, you are a grammar saviour - girlfriend!_

_With that said, go on - it's a happy end as I promised. ^^_

* * *

Jake had gone home, all the way home, trying to make up his mind what to do. He should bow out now for Jill's sake. There was also a little voice kept telling him that Chris would never ever leave her no matter what he did. It would always be like this, it would never get better, only worse and more complicated. And on the other hand he wanted to fight for it, he wanted to force Chris to make up his mind, because what if he – What if he did indeed? Jake tried to imagine what it would be like if all the things he wished for really happened. What about Chris' life, friends and career? What if that was why he held back? Jake knew that the people who trusted him could be counted on one hand, understandably why.

Maybe he should just get back to basics, maybe that was the mistake he had made before? The phone beeped again, and he looked down at the display, it was Sherry again, he hesitated a moment and then picked up, "Are you gonna yell at me again?" He asked with a little smile, eyes on the road, while he drove along the empty night highway.

"No." Sherry said. "What the hell Jake?"

Jake didn't answer; he just frowned and stepped on the accelerator.

"What now?" Sherry asked in the phone.

"I don't know." Jake stated. "What do you think?"

"Jake..."

"I'm serious." Jake said, "What do you think I should do?"

"Okay." Sherry said softly. "I think you should leave him alone. I think that without you there, they will get back to what they used to be."

"Yeah." Jake sighed, "I sorta expected you to say that." He paused, "Only problem is, that I don't want to go away, not really."

"You really love him, huh?" Sherry asked.

"Guess so." Jake said sadly.

"Still." Sherry said, "Chris and Jill.. They are like – meant to be."

"Yeah." Jake nodded with a little bitter smile.

"Where are you at?" Sherry asked, breaking up a little as he drove through an area with bad reception.

"I am driving Chris' car back to his house." Jake said. "Eh Sherry, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Could you send me that Kennedy fella's number?" Jake asked.

"I guess." Sherry said, "What do you need that for?"

"I just need to ask him something." Jake said innocently. "It's the truth."

"Alright." Sherry said. "Only if you promise me one thing." She paused and took a deep breath. "If you disappear again, don't lose my number. Call me once in a while, and let me know you're okay."

"I promise." Jake said, wondering how this girl knew him almost as well as he knew himself. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to do, and she already knew he was gonna bolt.

He had Chris' car at the airport, figuring that Chris would be told when it was impounded at some point. He had thought about leaving his phone, or maybe a message. But had decided against it, and had just gotten on the plane that Kennedy had told him to.

This was how he had found himself back where he had started, in the streets of what used to be Belgrad. Doing what he loved the most, solving the problems with a gun. Not thinking too much about Chris, or love.

Jake was shifting through sheet music, adding notes, removing others. He had intentionally gotten his own place here, he needed roots, he couldn't keep moving from hotel to hotel. If nothing else then just for himself, to know this was where he was staying, hiding in plain sight. He was sick and tired of being moved about like a precious pawn, this time around he would make his own rules to the game. He might not have stuck with Chris, but Chris didn't need for him to stick around, he only did more harm than good to Chris' life.

The whole ordeal with Chris in the hospital taught Jake one thing, that they were only human, and no one knew when your time was up. And when you live by the sword, you had to make your time count. And that was what he was gonna do. He was gonna make himself a new life. It surprised him that no matter how much he missed Chris, he was able to focus on anything other than the man shaped void in his life. He helped the people of his city get rid of pockets of j'avo. And he had picked up on composing, to not just recite music other people wrote, but to make his own.

His flat was less inviting than the one he had vacated in the US. This one had no TV, but had a piano instead. He jotted down another note on the paper, playing the newest piece through. So lost in his own thoughts that he almost jumped as someone knocked on the door. At first he just ignored it, and then it knocked again.

"Who is it?" He called out.

"Chris." The voice called from the corridor.

"Chris?" Jake stopped dead, placing his pen on the top of the piano. "What the hell man?" He turned around on the stool and got up to open his door. Taking a deep breath before he removed the safety chains, opening the door, letting the light from the corridor seep into his flat. He looked straight up into Chris' silent form. "How.. Eh.. why... What the hell?" He said studying Chris' face.

"You aren't exactly easy to find." Chris stated. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Jake took a step to the side letting Chris inside. As he passed Jake he could smell his scent, his tacky cologne, and something that was uniquely Chris. It woke all the emptiness that he had been drowning out, ignoring. Waking it to the point of Jake almost kicking Chris out of his flat, he didn't want to feel like this. It had never led him to good places. "So," He said slowly, closing the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you." Chris said, scratching his neck idly.

"Oh." Jake nodded, "How come?"

"What the hell do you want me to say?" Chris suddenly burst out.

"I don't know." Jake shrugged. "Shit, Chris.. This is getting real old, man."

"Yeah." Chris nodded. "So.. " He rolled his shoulders while he mentally steeled himself. "I am not gonna ask why you left, it was a dumb arrangement to begin with. But I wanted to tell you that I sorted my shit out, and I'm here. I mean, I'm here if you aren't too mad at me, and eh want me to be here."

"What?" Jake blinked repeatedly, trying to process Chris' words.

"Shit.. I had planned this differently, you know something with sweeping you off your feet. It's not really going all that well is it?" Chris laughed nervously.

"No, no.. You're good." Jake shook his head. Not even sure what to do with all that information. In the back of his mind he found it paradoxical that you could wish for something for so long, that when it was there you simply didn't know how to react.

"So, can I stay?" Chris asked, his duffle bag sliding off his shoulder, but hovering in his hand, waiting for Jake to answer.

"Yeah, sure." Jake said, clearing his throat.. "Am I hearing this right? You're here for me – us? What about - "

Chris let his duffle bag drop to the floor. "Okay so, I tried, I really did. I don't know man, it was like it had always just been in the cards that Jill and I would be the perfect match. I still care for her a lot, she is a friend, a very dear friend. But she doesn't - " Chris shook his head, "You're the one I love. It took me some time to figure that out.. but here it is." He turned his hands palms up. "I love you."

"Wow.. " Jake just stood rooted to the floor. "I had not seen that one coming."

"Me neither to be honest." Chris said with something that looked mostly like a blush.

Jake had never been a dumb kid, and he knew there was more to it than this. He squinted, his eyes and crossed his arms. "Is this about second chances, maybe even about that Nivans kid."

"Maybe a little." Chris admitted, seeing no point in lying. "I can't change the past, but I can make damn sure I do right by you." He smiled, "That's why I'm here."

Jake studied Chris, he had never been one to lie, and Jake heard no deception in his tone. "Alright." He said softly, with a tiny smile, "You're forgiven." He burst out laughing at Chris' baffled expression. "Come on man, loosen up." Jake held out his arms as an invitation to a hug.

Chris didn't hesitate, and wrapped his arms around Jake, burying his face in the crook of the other man's neck, inhaling Jake's scent. "God, I missed you." Chris whispered.

"Good, cause I didn't miss you at all." Jake said smiling, kissing his way down Chris' temple.

"You're the worst liar ever." Chris said, lifting his head to kiss Jake's lips in a chaste short kiss. Still testing the ground.

"Am not." Jake said his smile widening, he was about to say something more, but Chris cut him off with a kiss. This time not breaking it off, but instead lifting Jake off the ground and carrying him over to the dinner table, placing him on the tabletop.

"The table, really?" Jake teased, but didn't stop trying to open Chris' belt.

"Yeah well, I am a little short of flowers and candles." Chris grinned pushing Jake back on the table. Flipping his belt up, pulling down Jake's pants.

"Jerk." Jake grinned, propping himself up on his elbows, ignoring the pain of carrying his weight on the hard table. Just watching Chris as he dropped the pants, running his hands up Jake's legs, resting his hands on his hipbones.

"Yeah well, you love it." Chris shot back, running a rough hand over Jake's growing erection.

"Maybe I do." Jake said softly, closing his eyes for a moment, to just feel Chris' hands on his skin. This was something he had never thought he's feel again, he thought he had memorized the feeling. But when Chris pushed his legs a little further apart, licking a warm trail up his cock. Jake realized that he had not memorized a damn thing.

Chris was sure he'd never get tired of watching Jake as he slowly worked him open and ready. The way his muscles would flex, and his brows would knit in something that resembled worry, only to relax completely as Chris' fingertips rubbed the right place inside him. Chris leaned in and kissed Jake passionately, he just couldn't resist. Frantically undoing his own belt buckle, trying to shimmy out of his pants without letting go of Jake.

Holding on to the sides of the table, Jake swung his long legs up over Chris' shoulders. Letting out a long soft moan as he was penetrated, this feeling of his body accommodating his lover, never got old. The way it stung and exited him at the same time, sent thrills up his spine. And Chris knew exactly how he wanted it, pushing inside slowly, pulling out a little like he was fucking him shallowly for a moment, only to push in further. It drove Jake absolutely fucking nuts. And by the time Chris was balls deep inside, Jake was a squirming mess. Chris leaned down and whispered something dirty in his ear that Jake didn't quite hear, he just loved the sound of Chris' voice, hot and slightly out of breath. Like he fucked him with his cock and voice at the same time.

The table looked dangerously like it was going to collapse. Chris stopped moving and pulled Jake closer to the edge only to urge him to turn around, and place his feet on the ground.

Jake's legs were shaking as he tried to place his weight on them, and Chris didn't exactly let up, but fucked him with a relentless pace. One hand holding on to Jake's hip so hard it would most definitely bruise. The other pressed down between Jake's shoulder blades, holding him firmly down on the table. Jake reached down under him and took his own cock in his hand.

Leaning in over Jake, Chis put more pressure on his hand on Jake's upper spine. Unable to keep up a regular rhythm anymore, he increased his pace, fucking Jake down into the table. He could hear Jakes hoarse moans change into a keening sound, his arm holding on to the tale edge was shaking. Chris wanted to say something absolutely filthy, he knew that Jake secretly loved it, but when he opened his mouth only a pathetic gasping moan made it out.

Chris couldn't hold out longer, and came with erratic jerks and his eyes screwed shut, holding on to Jake so hard it had to hurt. Jake finished as Chris was fucking him with sloppy thrusts, slipping in come. Jake was still short of breath, and his pupils blown from the high of his orgasm, when Chris pried him off the table, and wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight. "God I love you." Chris whispered.

"Good, cause I hate you." Jake couldn't even muster a real laugh, so he just kissed Chris instead.

EPILOGUE:

Chris had stayed, he hadn't asked Jake to come back with him even once. He had just started to rebuild his life on Jake's turf. It was still strange to Jake that he had someone to come home to, or that he had someone to cook dinner for. But somehow it all just seemed to make sense. All the things that Jake had worried about, if it would hurt Chris' career, or if he would grow tired of him. If Chris would grow homesick, or just grow tired of him. It was all put to rest. Chris had even asked him to teach him the language, Jake had laughed many times at his horrible accent, but he was definitely getting there. At least he was able to make himself understood in shorter sentences now.

Jake's fantasy of walking down the street hand in hand, never did come true for real. Because even if they were not a secret, Jake refused to let something like what happened to Chris back then, happen again. So a public display of their relation he was never comfortable with. That didn't mean that they had to behave all the time.

And when Chris had stayed for six months, Jake had disclosed his composition which he had named 'Christopher'. And Jake was not sure, but he was almost positive he had seen Chris' eyes water up for a second.

-FIN-


End file.
